Money-Hungry Donald Trump Selling Pardons For $1 Million

Funny story written by Fannin Fabriano

Sunday, 17 January 2021

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Trump's chief adviser Hope Hicks says he is planning on entering the Witness Protection Program.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire New) – Financial experts are saying that President Trump left nothing unturned when it came to lying; and that goes triple for his finances.

A source close to Trump’s personal accountant, Aydin F. Periwinkle, stated that, for years, the man who is now regarded as the worst president in the history of presidents, has tremendously exaggerated his net worth.

Don the Con has claimed he is worth $9.2 billion, but the truth of the matter is, he is only worth $3.1 million.

Now, comes word that he is so desperate for money, that he is selling presidential pardons for $1 million each. So far, he has netted $173 million.

GOPicky Magazine reports that he is selling presidential pardons to members of his insurrectionist army of right-wing anarchists, who have been charged with invading the USA on his orders.

The President knows that most of his group of invaders really have no money to speak of, so he has offered to sell them full pardons at a much lower reduced price of $25,000 each.

Trump’s newest ass-kisser, Michael Lindell, aka The My Pillow Guy, has offered to purchase presidential pardons for 200 of the scum-sucking, treasonous traitors.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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