Capital Hill Rioters Love Trump Back
At a speech before the rioters took off for Capital Hill, Donald Trump boldly announced that he loved them. Kiss, kiss! In the spirit of that love, many of those rioters have decided to test that love by descending in mass upon Mar-a-Lago. Do…
Read full story"Q" Unmasked and Living in Maunabo, Puerto Rico
In a major national security breakthrough, the CIA has determined the real identify of "Q". According to various sources, the spy agency used advanced algorithms to track down the source of wild and insane conspiracies--including the incredibly stup…
Read full storyMan's New Year's Resolution is not to watch Not Going Out
Stanley Bridgewater, a consumer of milk, is quite pleased that, after 11 days, he is yet to break his New-Year's resolution of not watching laughter fest, 'Not Going Out'. 'I know,' said Bridgewater, 'that, as New Year's Resolution go, it is very…
Read full storyPrimal Scream's new album an hour of Primal Screaming
We remember them in the 1990s, with their hit songs Rocks of and that other one, but Primal Scream have recently announced their latest, lockdown-inspired effort, an hour's worth of sing-along, foot-tapping Primal Screaming. The group's frontman a…
Read full storyLead Guitarist misses being the centre of attention
Lead guitarist Manuel Fishcake has revealed that he really misses being the centre of attention. 'Time was' said Manuel 'I would be in the pub, playing my favourite licks all over the keyboard player's solo, and interrupting the lead singers impas…
Read full storyMan's year has peaked with the start of the new series of Death in Paradise
Stanley Bridgewater, a consumer of cup-a-soup and large shirts bought in the sale at Tesco, has realised that now the new, and under-whelming series of popular television documentary Death in Paradise has started on BBC1, he may as well, like the res…
Read full storyDonald Trump starts new social network - Fiends Reunited
A user of fake tan, and rider of helicopters, Donald Trump, has started his own Social Network, having been kicked off all of the other ones. Fiends Reunited will, in Trump's words, be the best one there is. 'Yes, I have the best of everything. Th…
Read full storyBiden Names Major Amos B Hoople Secretary Of Defense
BILLINGSGATE POST: EGAD FAP! After having his first choice for Secretary of Defense, General Lloyd J Austin III, dumped for being part of the feared Industrial-Military Complex, President-Elect Joe Biden nominated his second choice, Major Amos B Ho…
Read full storyMan Keeps Getting Stared At For 'No Reason'
It's no fun when someone feels they are attracting unwanted attention from others, particularly if the object of those attentions is a sensitive person. Add to that a perception that the unwanted attention appears to be of a negative nature, and t…
Read full story“And Then They Stole The Election,” Trump Tells Giggling Children While Visiting Local Kindergarten
Balancing between playing golf and tweeting sounds like a difficult task. Still, Donald Trump keeps finding new ways of letting everyone know that Satan-worshiping communists stole the election. "I was skeptical when the President suggested visiti…
Read full storyTrump Switches From Twitter to PornHub Comments Section
WASHINGTON- The followers of President Donald J. Trump are still recovering from a shock caused by the news of an unjustified and brutal Twitter ban. If only they knew that the President and what’s left of his staff have been working on creative and…
Read full storyPfizer denies Covid-19 vaccine has Viagra content!
After several reports of weird 'side effects' being noted by doctors observing lucky first vaccinated patients, they decided to contact the producers, pharmaceutical giants Pfizer, to ask why ageing males have suddenly been fondling young female nurs…
Read full storyPresident Trump Addresses The Rumors That He Is Divorcing Melania So He Can Marry Sean Hannity
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Vox Populi News Agency is reporting that a source within the White House, says that Trump is so upset and depressed that he has locked himself in the White House Bunker. Just before the president got inside t…
Read full storyThe Disney Channel To Start Airing Commercials For R-Rated Adult-Themed Websites
ANAHEIM, California – (Satire News) – The board of directors of The Disney Channel have informed the public that, due to their extreme financial loses, which they totally blame on President Trump, aka the Anarchist-in-Chief, they are having to make s…
Read full storyCapitol Hill Rioter Claims He Was Contacted Personally By President Trump
A protester who took part in last Wednesday's Capitol Hill riot, says he only became involved in the incident because he was contacted 24 hours before the event by President Donald Trump. Brian Dummkopf, a resident of Washington, claims that, at 2…
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