Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 26 January 2021

image for Oprah Winfrey Interviews The Extremely Depressed Kanye West
Oprah Winfrey's Little Old Black Gal Estates Recording Studio is better than the Fox News studio.

(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning actors, Grammy-winning rock stars, and even the infamous Hezbollah leader Muhammad Shake Origami. .

OPRAH: Hello Kanye, so how ya doin’ babe?

KANYE: Not worth a shit Miss Oprah, I be feeling depressed.

OPRAH: Hey please don’t cuss. You’re not at home brutha.

KANYE: I be sorry, Miss O. But troot be told, I ain’t gots a home – not no mo.

OPRAH: I guess Miss Kim finally got tired of you being butt buddies wiff old man Trumpet, and she kicked your silly old ass to da curb huh?

KANYE: Yessum, dat be right. Damnit all, I tried. I bought her jewelry, fur coats, a 14-karat gold labia majora ring, an imported Danish butt warmer, and even a fuckin’ yacht, and she still didn’t wants me ta be touchin’ her tits and shit.

OPRAH: Look bitch, I done told ya, I duzzn’t wants ya ta be fuckin’ cussin’ on my show. Are ya dumb, stupid, or boaf?

KANYE: I be boaf. Ya know Miss Oprah, ever since I got my ass whipped in da presidential election, I just ain’t been da same. I cain’t sleep, I cain't eat, and I just now noticed dat my pee-pee is startin' ta do some weird ass shit like -

OPRAH: Hold on der homey, dis here classy, sophisticated rich-as-hell old, semi-plump black woman don’t wanna be hearin’ diddly squat ‘bout your winkydoo ya hear?

KANYE: Yep, I feel ya ma sista.

OPRAH: Well, Kanye, I don’t wanna be da bearer of bad news, but I hear tell from da grape vine dat Miss Kimmy she be sweet on a certain football player wiff da initials A.R.

KANYE: Would dat be dat white cracker from da Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers?

OPRAH: Yessum, bro, dat be da dude fo sho nuff.

KANYE: Well, I sho duzz hope dat, dat white boy, he’s gottem plenty of State Farm insurance, cause when’s I see’um, I’m a gonna beat his ass all da way from Green Bay ta Milwaukee.

OPRAH: Say ba bye Kanye.

KANYE: Ba bye Kanye.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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