(NOT EDITED) Oprah Winfrey, who is now the world’s richest woman started, with nothing but a pair of duct-taped flip-flops, a Raggedy Ann blouse, and a pair of Olive Oyl shorts. She's interviewed nearly everyone from sports heroes, Oscar-winning actors, Grammy-winning rock stars, and even the infamous Hezbollah leader Muhammad Shake Origami. .
OPRAH: Hello Kanye, so how ya doin’ babe?
KANYE: Not worth a shit Miss Oprah, I be feeling depressed.
OPRAH: Hey please don’t cuss. You’re not at home brutha.
KANYE: I be sorry, Miss O. But troot be told, I ain’t gots a home – not no mo.
OPRAH: I guess Miss Kim finally got tired of you being butt buddies wiff old man Trumpet, and she kicked your silly old ass to da curb huh?
KANYE: Yessum, dat be right. Damnit all, I tried. I bought her jewelry, fur coats, a 14-karat gold labia majora ring, an imported Danish butt warmer, and even a fuckin’ yacht, and she still didn’t wants me ta be touchin’ her tits and shit.
OPRAH: Look bitch, I done told ya, I duzzn’t wants ya ta be fuckin’ cussin’ on my show. Are ya dumb, stupid, or boaf?
KANYE: I be boaf. Ya know Miss Oprah, ever since I got my ass whipped in da presidential election, I just ain’t been da same. I cain’t sleep, I cain't eat, and I just now noticed dat my pee-pee is startin' ta do some weird ass shit like -
OPRAH: Hold on der homey, dis here classy, sophisticated rich-as-hell old, semi-plump black woman don’t wanna be hearin’ diddly squat ‘bout your winkydoo ya hear?
KANYE: Yep, I feel ya ma sista.
OPRAH: Well, Kanye, I don’t wanna be da bearer of bad news, but I hear tell from da grape vine dat Miss Kimmy she be sweet on a certain football player wiff da initials A.R.
KANYE: Would dat be dat white cracker from da Green Bay, Aaron Rodgers?
OPRAH: Yessum, bro, dat be da dude fo sho nuff.
KANYE: Well, I sho duzz hope dat, dat white boy, he’s gottem plenty of State Farm insurance, cause when’s I see’um, I’m a gonna beat his ass all da way from Green Bay ta Milwaukee.
OPRAH: Say ba bye Kanye.
KANYE: Ba bye Kanye.
