Analysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 25 January 2021

image for Analysts say senator's “erection” mistake a sign of dementia among Democrats
A wide variety of images can stimulate the dysfunction

Curious as it may be, Mr. Trump's coming impeachment trial has aroused Democrats in unexpected ways.

Speaking on the senate floor about Mr. Trump's upcoming trial, Senate Majority Leader, Charles Schumer recently stated:

“Make no mistake, there will be a trial, and when that trial ends, senators will have to decide if they believe Donald John Trump incited the erection against the United States.”

He then corrected himself to “insurrection” versus “erection.”

A clumsy gaffe only?

Comments such as “They really have a h*rd on for this thing,” from politicians here and there in the halls of congress, may be relevant.

The “smoking gun” (note phallic imagery here) causing Democrat arousal in this case is the accusation that Mr. Trump “incited” a mob to “insurrection and a coup against the United States.”

Democrats are generally overjoyed with these developments.

TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) seems near its climax—although a deeper problem in the nation's government may be surfacing.

That is, physical arousal while considering a case may interfere with thinking and decision-making.

Further peculiar, the types of stimuli range from abstract matters such as trials to "phallic perpetuating" images.

Explosive developments sometimes follow.

Mr. Biden is being urged to form a special investigation on this matter.

At stake is not merely Mr. Trump's trial, but the reasoning faculties of those now in charge—including dealing with the virus and locking down the populace.

Further, in Mr. Schumer's case, there is a history.

Analysts indicate Mr. Schumer's biography shows a certain tendency, which began well back in his boyhood.

A syndrome known to school boys as “the jigglies” occurs just as a boy is about to step off the school bus at his stop on the way home.

That is, a child's member inexplicably rises right at the crucial moment he must stand up. An awkward hunched-over posture then occurs as he exits.

The problem is no advance warning or presence of stimuli usually associated with arousal and lengthening this area of the anatomy.

Theorists speculate Mr. Schumer's gaffe was likely a warning that a corresponding part of his anatomy was at that very moment engaging in its own form of erection (that is insurrection!)

Mr. Schumer's hunched-over stance at the podium, and when he retires from speaking, may not be “stomach cramps,” as previously thought.

Whether additional members of the Democrats may suffer from this disabling pre-direction (that is, predilection!) must also be considered.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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