Man Does Unspeakable Thing To Dog

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 2 January 2021

image for Man Does Unspeakable Thing To Dog
Ruff treatment: Timmy with his owner

There was controversy all over internet social media platforms last night, after a man who purports to be a dog-lover posted a picture of himself and his pet in a pose that suggested impropriety.

John Ruff, 38, posted a photo of himself and his dog, Timmy, on Facebook, but, within minutes, his post went viral.

Comments rained down upon his virtual head.

Maureen Wipple wrote:

"It's disgusting! You can see the poor dog isn't enjoying it!"

Jenny Greengauge offered:

"Why, just look at Timmy's face! That man is a barbarian! Does 'barbarian' need a capital 'b'? lol"

And Arthur Craddock commented:

"That's inhumane! It's a helpless animal being bummed by a depraved mental case, and he has the effrontery, the nerve, the cheek, and the audacity, by God, to go sharing it on a worldwide stage such as this! I'm beyond words, aside from these few that I've used in my comment."

In the picture, Ruff does, indeed, seem to be doing something wholly inappropriate to the dog, but experts have said that people should be careful before they go jumping to conclusions. One, Eric Strychnine, said:

"it could just be the angle, or a trick of the light."

But animal rights activist Petunia Gribble raged:

"It's a wanton act of gross indecency. It's demented, disgraceful, and despicable. I've always wanted to get those three words together in a sentence! By the way, I've never had a relationship."

Timmy was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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