WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Boom Boom News, has confirmed Rudy Giuliani’s story that Trump actually faked having the COVID-19 virus.
Old Bug-Eyed Rudy told BBN that he, Ted Cruz, and Sara “Sponge Cake” Huckabee Sanders concocted the whole damn story.
Giuliani, who is so ugly, he makes rust look beautiful, said that Trump did it as a ploy, so that people would feel sorry for him, and vote for him, and he would win re-election.
The whole pitiful scheme fell apart when 7 of his 9 nurses at Walter Reed Hospital reported that they had seen Trump kissing Hope Hicks, Maria Bartiromo, Laura Ingraham, and Ivanka on the lips as he laid in bed, maskless, shirtless, and underwearless.
When Trump was asked to comment on Rudy’s statement, he said that he does not know Rudy Giuliani, has never met Rudy Giuliani, and couldn’t recognize him if he had a fucking name tag on.
Former Trump ass-kisser and man who looks like a Galapagos turtle, Senator Mitch "The Moscow Bitch" McConnell, said that Trump has been angry as hell ever since he developed erectile dysfunction when he returned from visiting North Korea, Russia, and Pisagovia.
Meanwhile, the state of Georgia has reportedly filed a $3.8 million lawsuit against Trump on the grounds of him being a complete and total lying pile of hog vomit.