Man Relieved Headache By Extraordinary Means

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 17 January 2021

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A massive release of gas cured the headache

A man who likes to reminisce has recounted a tale of an occasion when he was working at a global telecommunications company, when he relieved a massive headache he was experiencing in an extraordinary - and barely believable - way.

Moys Kenwood, 57, was a proofreader in the company which was an anagram of 'TB', and which was responsible for the publication of the UK's Yellow Pages telephone directories.

One day, Kenwood was working away at his computer when he became aware of a pain in his head, but not behind the eyes as is the case with a normal headache, but at the back of his bonce.

Fearing a brain tumour, he became thoughtful and sullen, and this seemed to make the pain worse. Soon, his head felt like it was splitting apart, and, nobody having any paracetamols, he began to wonder if he wasn't living his final hours. He decided to go for a piss.

The toilet facilities were on the floor below, in the building's basement. It was very quiet, lonely, and creepy. As he pushed the door open, he sensed he was alone, which was perfect, for a familiar sensation told him he had a massive fart brewing, that would, no doubt, frighten other people should they hear it.

As he stood at the urinal, he felt the fart working its way towards his bumhole, and, bending his knees, exerted as much 'downward pressure' as he could muster.

It escaped with a rushing of air, just as two of Kenwood's colleagues walked through the door. They were uninjured, but it's possible they still have troubled dreams because of it.

Kenwood, meanwhile, felt a huge release of pressure being released from the back of his head, rather like a kettle boiling, or a balloon suddenly being deflated.

He told friends back in the office. One commented, wryly:

"It's typical of you - your brain's connected to your arse!"

Several people laughed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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