History For Children: #1 Donald Trump

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 30 January 2021

image for History For Children: #1 Donald Trump
Donald Trump: so that we can learn from our mistakes

Once upon a time, there was a very bad man. In fact, he was more than a very bad man, he was a very, very, VERY, VERY VERY bad man, and one that had to be watched. His name was Donald Trump.

Donald had lots and lots of money. He had SO much money, that he could buy anything he wanted - even people. Donald bought a lot of people. Then, he could do what he wanted with them. He liked to do what he wanted. He liked it very much!

Donald liked to buy things. As well as people, he liked to buy land, and big buildings. Very big. Very bigly.

He used his money to make some big buildings, and then he let people live in those buildings, and they had to give him money - a lot of money!

When he got the money, he used it to buy more buildings and people, and he became very, very rich. He became as rich as a king!

Donald was very happy.

One day, Donald had an idea. He said to himself:

"I'm happy, and I'm rich, but I want everyone in the whole wide world to listen to me, and do what I say."

So Donald used some more of his money to buy some more people, and then he used those people to get him a new job. In his new job, everyone listened to Donald, and they all had to do what he said. Now, he was very happy!

But then, the wheels started to fall off.

Many people wanted to help Donald do his job, but he didn't want to listen. He told them:

"I am Donald Trump. I don't need to listen to you. I know everything!"

He didn't listen. He did everything his own way, and what a way it was!

Donald started to make a lot of mistakes. He made really silly mistakes, and said really silly things. He did really silly things as well. Everyone said:

"He's a really Silly Billy!"

He made a lot of people angry. They were very angry, but Donald just smiled. He didn't care - he was the boss. He could do and say what he liked!

So he did.

Some people started to hate Donald. They said he was doing everything wrong, and that he was bad, and nasty, and as corrupt as fuck, and they wanted him to go far, far away.

But Donald didn't go away. He liked his job, and he liked telling everyone what to do. He was a real asshole.

Not everyone hated Donald. Some people liked him, and they liked the things he said, and they liked the things he did. They were morons.

There were also people who were not morons, however, and there were more of the 'not morons' than there were of the 'morons'. The 'not morons' decided that Donald had to stop doing his job, and so he had to go and play golf instead.

He was sad that he had to stop doing his job, but happy that he could play golf, even though he was awful at it.

Just like he was at everything else.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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