Man Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 23 January 2021

image for Man Smells Hideous Stench Of Unwashed Feet
Rancid: some feet earlier

A teacher has revealed how, when he walked into a classroom to teach his students this morning, he quickly felt he was under attack from a rather peculiar source - a pair of rancid sweating feet.

Moys Kenwood, 57, entered the room in jovial fashion as it was Friday, but the smile was soon wiped clean off the Englishman's face by the putrid fruity aroma of feet that had either been cooped-up in a tight-fitting pair of shoes for way too long, or else had been excused from coming into contact with soap and water for a while.

By a process of nasal recognition, he was reminded of his experiences of travelling in expressway vans in Bangkok, where, more often than not, the driver wore no shoes, resulting in the vehicle interior being bathed in the perilously foul odor of feet that had remained unwashed for weeks, possibly months.

Realizing what was amiss, his eyes scoured the floor for signs of bare feet, but this investigation was inconclusive, as several of the students were without shoes. As was the assistant teacher.

He tried holding his breath, and then, when this failed, went over and stood by the open window, inhaling huge gulps of fresher air from outside. When a female student put her hand up to ask a question, Kenwood bade her come over to the window, in order to avoid being overcome by the fumes.

When she did, however, the fumes came with her, and the owner of the stinking feet was discovered.

Just then, the bell sounded for the end of the lesson, and, clasping his bag in both hands, Kenwood bolted for the door.

Showing how much he cared for the welfare of others, he left it wide open.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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