MOSCOW – (World Satire) – The Kremlin Voice News Agency has informed the world new agencies, that President Putin is extremely concerned about the sad, deplorable, deteriorating mental condition of President Trump's mulch-filled brain.
Putin reportedly had a conference call with China’s Xi Jinping, North Korea’s Kim Jong-un, and Pisagovia’s Uri Zenpupon, to discuss Trump, who really needs to be driven out to Crazy Camp and put in a straitjacket.
All four world leaders fear that as fucked-up in the head as Trump is, the thoroughly defeated, pathetic, loser is liable to start launching intercontinental ballistic missiles out of spite, anger, and just pure unadulterated meanness.
The Kremlin Voice says that Putin called up Melania Trump and actually begged her to please take her husband’s missile launching remote control away from him.
He told her to give it to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, who will then put it in his safety deposit box in Manhattan’s Frank Sinatra National Bank.
Melania reportedly told Vladimir that she will have her husband’s personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, take the remote control away, and she will then personally FedEd it to Anderson Cooper.