David Blaine’s Magic Trick Goes Horribly Wrong

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 4 January 2021

image for David Blaine’s Magic Trick Goes Horribly Wrong
Blaine's girlfriend, "Tits" Lockwittzer, says he had practiced the magic illusion earlier that morning.

LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) – World-famed magician and illusionist David Blaine was in Sin City performing one of his most intricate illusionist tricks ever, and was supposed to have made an entire circus tent, filled with a dozen elephants, 6 tigers, 4 lions and 7 clowns, completely disappear.

In the past, Blaine has made some amazing things disappear, such as the Eiffel Tower, Yankee Stadium, the White House, and even Lake Michigan.

David's live-in girlfriend, Lulu "Tits" Lockwittzer, said Blaine had been feeling a bit under the weather since New Year’s Eve, after having eaten some imported Hungarian Escargot, some Emu testicles, and a bottle of Attila the Hun vodka.

But, as they say, the show must go on, and Blaine dressed in his customary New York Yankees uniform, and began the illusionary process.

After about 12 seconds, he began sneezing, and then coughing.

A few seconds later, there was a flash of bright, blue light, and a large cloud of smoke, and suddenly David was gone.

An ABC camerman did report smelling what he described as an elephant shit.

But David simply vanished into thin air. And now the New York City Police Department has issued an APB for the 47-year-old.

Lulu is extremely worried, and asked that, if anyone knew of his whereabouts, to please call her cell phone number, (202)-555-DAMN.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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