The South Carolina Women’s Basketball Team Wants The Name Non-Cocks Dropped

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 3 January 2021

image for The South Carolina Women’s Basketball Team Wants The Name Non-Cocks Dropped
Star player Brenda Blizzwater led the drive to drop the team name, the Non-Cocks.

COLUMBIA, South Carolina – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated has stated that 74% of the South Carolina University Game Cocks student body wants the name of the girl’s athletic teams changed.

University President Robert Caslen was presented with petitions with 26,102 signatures, demanding that the female team name the Non-Cocks be dropped.

Gynecological major and women's basketball star, Brenda Blizzwater, 21, told Caslen that all of the S.C. female teams are tired of being embarrassed because of their sexually degrading team name.

She added that, last month, even Pope Francis mentioned in his column in the Vatican Daily Candlelight, that when he heard of the name, he immediately did 13 hail Marys, lit 28 candles, and texted Terry Bradshaw with Fox Sports.

The name of the male teams is the Game Cocks, which the guys say is a nice, proud stud name. But the girl athletes asked how the guys would like it if their name was the South Carolina Vaginas.

President Calsen asked Miss Blizzwater if she had a name she would like to see replace the Non-Cocks.

She said that she and her girlfriend would like the name changed to the South Carolina Egg-Laying Hens.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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