FUKAHAMA, Japan – (Satire News) – Japan’s Saki News Agency is reporting that a 47-year-old sushi restaurant manager has married his extremely pretty robot doll girlfriend.
Sagamiro Takashaki told Saki that he and his girlfriend, Melissa, a stunningly beautiful blue-eyed blonde, have been together for two years, and he finally decided to pop the “M” question as the two sat cuddling in the living room watching reruns of The Housewives of Osaka.
When asked why he would choose to marry a robot doll over a real biological woman, Sagamiro remarked that he had been married twice before to real women
He said his first marriage ended because his wife cheated on him with his grandfather. The second one ended when his wife came home early from work, and caught him in bed dressed as a sexy Geisha girl, with a 475-pound Japanese Sumo wrestler.
Sagamiro said his wife screamed at the top of her lungs for the sumo wrestler to get the hell out of her bed, "before the bed goes through the floor and ends up in the downstairs neighbor’s apartment."
Members of the Sayonara Samurai Robot Company, which manufactured Melissa, were in attendance at Sagamiro and Melissa's wedding.