There were 465 spoof news stories published in October 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Recreational athlete misses locker room banter, can't wait to catch up on latest pubic hairstyles
Local athlete Jeff Miller announced today he can't wait for the restart of his men's ice hockey league so he can stay up-to-date with the latest news and pubic hair fashions. "While chatting about stocks or listening to the latest raunchy joke, I…
Read full storyDutch pancakes voted flattest on the planet!
(NOT EDITED) Scientists with nothing better to do than find blackholes in the universe, very Nobel, have turned their attention to more earthly matters, not dark. In an attempt to find out which pancakes are the flattest, not the planet, they studied…
Read full storyJerry Jones Announces That The 2021 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Nude Calendar is Now on Sale
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Dallas Cowboys owner and man who knows how to turn a buck or a million, Jerry Jones, has just announced the much-awaited news…The 2021 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Nude Calendar is now on sale. Jones, who owns the most ex…
Read full storyTrump’s Scuttling His Sinking White House
Donald Trump has scuttled his own White House. His ship of state is sinking, and he’s ankle-deep in water. To the rescue, Sheldon Adelson has thrown him a $75 million contribution to tow him back to safety and four more years. On the one hand, wi…
Read full storyConor McGregor Isn't That Hard, Says Lanky, Skinny Wretch
The former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, mixed martial arts fighter, Conor McGregor, isn't really that hard, according to a man who knows literally nothing about the subject. McGregor has just been very lucky, claims the man. "He…
Read full storyDolly Parton Says If Trump Were To Grab Her Pussy, It Would Tear His Hand Off
Dolly Parton, the mega-successful Country and Western chanteuse, has broken her own self-imposed rule about keeping quiet on the subject of politics by firing a 'warning shot across the bows' of the US president, Donald J. Trump. Commenting on the…
Read full storyDonald Trump Did Not Win The Nobel Peace Prize
Incredible surprise. Stop the world. Donald Trump did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. You’d think that, after separating babies and children from parents, putting children in cages, and locking them in those cages, Donald Trump actually thought he cou…
Read full storyAmy Coney Barrett ate at abortion cafe
There was shock today when it was revealed that nominee to the US Supreme Court Amy Coney Barrett once ate a foetus in an establishment known as an "abortion cafe". Liu Chan Restaurant is in the Chinatown district of Notre Dame in Indiana, and whe…
Read full storyLos Angeles Dodgers Player Justin Turner Showed Everyone He Is An Uncaring, Self-Centered, Mask-Less-Wearing Jerk
ARLINGTON, Texas – (Sports Satire) – After winning game 6 to capture the World Series Championship, player who had been removed from the game, after testing positive for COVID-19, suddenly darted out of his isolation cage, and onto the playing field.
Read full storyJapan Documentary Woman Made Odd Sound
A documentary about a village that practised sericulture, the farming of silkworms and their cocoons, which is now almost deserted due to the lack of demand for the cocoons, featured a strange woman who made an even stranger sound whenever she acknow…
Read full storyTeacher Was Tempted To Fart In Student's Face
A student who was showing off to his friends and indulging in the centuries-old prank of walking close behind a teacher and emulating his every move, ran the very real risk of inviting vengeance on a hitherto-unknown scale, when the teacher briefly c…
Read full storyVAR Referees Haunted by Ghosts
After the English Premier League introduced new technology in the form of a Video Assistant Referee last season, it has been revealed that many of them are too terrified to actually watch a game, and are afraid that they are being haunted by the spir…
Read full storySan Antonio Spurs Assistant Coach Becky Hammon is Being Courted For an NBA Head Coaching Job
NEW ORLEANS – (Sports Satire) – According to ESPN-4, the word out of the Big Easy is that the New Orleans Pelicans are considering Spurs assistant coach Becky Harmon for the head coach job. Pelicans owner Gayle Benson, stated that she has checked…
Read full storyLondon Marathon Won By Man With Huge Hard-on
There was a huge controversy at the very end of the 2020 London Marathon this morning, when the winner revealed that he had crossed the finishing line with a stonking erection poking out of his running shorts. The Virtual London Marathon, I mean.
Read full storyMelania Trump Says That The President is Now Having to Use Two Hands To Brush His Teeth
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The first lady confided to her future step-daughter-in-law that she is becoming more and more worried about the President. Melania told Kimberly Guilfoyle that she has noticed that Donald is now having to use bot…
Read full storyScientists Say That Lake Michigan Could Dry Up Completely in 8 Years
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Environmental scientists have released a report stating that, due to climate change, Lake Michigan could be totally bone dry by 2028. The experts said that when that happens, the city of Chicago is going to find itself up…
Read full storyChrysler Says That It Will Be Dropping The Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo’s Racist Name
DETROIT – (Satire News) – After receiving hundreds of petitions containing millions of names, the Chrysler Corporation has agreed to change the name of their highly popular SUV, The Grand Jeep Cherokee Laredo. The SUV was originally developed in 1…
Read full storyKate Gosselin Reveals She’s Going To Have Her Vagina Tattoo Lasered Off
WERNERSVILLE, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – According to iRumors, Kate Gosselin is one of the most widely-viewed reality show stars of all time. The 45-year-old blonde mother of eight has starred in such reality shows as “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”…
Read full storyBukkake World Championships Called Off Due To Health Risk
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, has cast its shadow over normality again this evening, after the dangerous risk of spreading the virus put paid to the 2020 staging of one of the most eagerly-awaited events in the Japanese social calendar - the Bukkake Wor…
Read full storyLara Trump Has Just Become The Meanest, Cruelest, Most Hateful Bitch in the Entire USA
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Just when millions of people thought that no one could ever be meaner, nastier, and have more hate in their heart than Donald Trump, along comes his fake, blonde-haired daughter-in-law from Hell, Lara Trump. The 38-…
Read full storyAll of The White House Maids and Cooks Have Quit and Evacuated The Trumpapalooza-Infested White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – CNN is reporting that every maid and cook in the White House has abandoned the Trumpapalooza-infested White House. A Trump staff member, who did not want his name revealed, said that, as soon as the President wal…
Read full storyMany in The Black Community Are Calling Rapper Ice Cube an Uncle Tom
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Afro Sheen Magazine is reporting that many African-Americans are now turning their backs on rapper Ice Cube, and calling him an Uncle Tom. Others are saying that they are shocked that the black rapper has turned into just…
Read full storyHarry Maguire To Retire From Football
There was sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, as Manchester United captain and England defender, Harry Maguire, made a shock announcement to the effect that he intends to retire from football, and to pursue a career in a differe…
Read full storySuicidal Nutter jumps off Beachy Head and survives!
Ageing Jo Johnson, a 69-year-old pensioner from Erith, Kent, was so pissed off with Covid, Brexit, Manchester United losing, and Jose Mourinho's constant whingeing, he decided enough was enough. Last Sunday evening, he left his humble abode, a 4…
Read full storyMan Is Going To Rob A Bank
An Englishman whose mind is in absolute turmoil with regard to how he is going to ensure the well-being of his young family after his own death, is going to rob a bank. The extremely ambitious plan was hatched today by Ken Moyswood (not real name)…
Read full storyThe University of Texas Longhorn Band Says That Their Football Fight Song is Racist
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The university’s assistant band director Chris Del Monte-Corn, said that the football fight song “The Eyes of Texas” is as racist as David Duke, Ann Coulter, and Donald Trump. Del Monte-Corn spoke with a reporter with The…
Read full storyShawn Mendes and Camila Cabello Deny The Marriage Rumors
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Daily Wind is reporting that the Shawn Mendes – Camila Cabello Self-Distancing Concert was a huge success. The couple performed for a 100% mask-wearing audience, and they received four encores, plus $9,000 in…
Read full storyDonald Trump Jr. Has Been Told By His Daddy To Break Up with Girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle or He’s Out of The Will
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after learning that her boo’s daddy has told him to dump her ass. It appears that the President has told Junior that he better dump that big-haired…
Read full storyPerl 6 nerds committed Rakudocide
M’assachewsucks Instantstink of Technerdery - The Tech Rebuke According to our source, Eek Campus nerd Rodney Slidrule, an entire class of Course 6 students at MIT have abandoned civilnerd society and moved onto Amish farms in PA. “It was th…
Read full storySheep have more brains than humans claim Dutch scientists!
(NOT EDITED) In these quite desperate times, you know what I mean, a group of Dutch scientists decided to look at human intelligence compared to sheep's intelligence. They spent weeks and months studying sheep in the flatlands covering Holland. They…
Read full storyThe Jacksonville Jaguars May Have to Change Their Name
JACKSONVILLE, Florida – (Sports Satire) – Sports Balls Illustrated Magazine has informed the sports world that the Jacksonville Jaguars could be looking at a lawsuit. It appears that the Jacksonville football team has been using the name Jaguars w…
Read full story'Pussy The Octopus' has more brain cells than BOJO!
(NOT EDITED) Although he changes his colors and opinions more times in a day than a chameleon, the UK PM still cannot compete with an Australian octopus nicknamed, Pussy! Tests carried out by a diver swimming among sharks, jelly fish, and other pr…
Read full storyLos Angeles Clippers Super Star Kawhi Leonard Denies That He Is Secretly Dating Kim Kardashian
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) - Reports filtering out of Tinsel Town are that Kim Kardashian and NBA super star Kawahi Leonard are secretly dating. Bedroom Pillow Talk’s Carolina Chipotle stated that she received a text from an LAPD officer statin…
Read full storyHalloween: Trick Or Treat To Be Replaced By Track Or Trace
Halloween, or All Hallows' Eve, is just around the corner again, but with the deadly Coronavirus still doing its dastardly work, changes to the normal Halloween format have had to be made. Perhaps the most impirtant change is an adaptation of the…
Read full storyBiden Seen Leaving Tomb: Claims To Have Suburban Mummy Vote
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pollsters who predicted Sleepy Joe Biden would get the suburban mummy vote were vindicated by reports that heavily-bandaged mummies were seen standing in line to cast their vote for the man who looks like he has spent the past 3,00…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Allocating $14.7 Billion To Send An Exploratory Team to The Newly Discovered Planet Covfefe
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump recently sat down with Dr. Amerigo Tennyson, who is the chief scientist at NASA. Dr. Tennyson is the man who discovered the planet Covfefe on April 20, 2020. The doctor has scientific degrees…
Read full storyShark Chased Surfer Across Beach
Authorities in Perth, in western Australia, have released details of a terrifying incident in which a Great White Shark encircled a group of surfers in order to attack them, followed them out of the water, and pursued them over a sandy beach. The…
Read full storyMan Had To Change His Underpants At Work
We have all, at some time or other, suffered the inconvenience of getting wet and having to change our clothing, but when one man and his wife got drenched in torrential rain yesterday, then drove into an underwater pothole and fell off their motorbi…
Read full storyMan Had Freezing Cold Shower
A distinct change in normal weather conditions left one man with no option but to endure a freezing cold shower this morning, an experience that virtually 'shrivelled up' some parts of his anatomy. The unseasonal week-long rainfall and dramatic dr…
Read full storyTop 10 Reasons to Reelect President Trump
Here are the top 10 reasons for patriotic Americans to reelect President Donald J. Trump. But don’t worry if you can’t make it to the polls on election day. It might not matter at the end of that day. If, by some unimaginable fluke, President T…
Read full storyChina Reveals That President Trump Owns Three Fortune Cookie Factories
SHANGHAI, China – (Satire News) – China’s Rice News Agency has revealed that President Trump is the sole owner of three fortune cookie factories. According to government records, the President purchased the three factories a mere two months after…
Read full storyMan Farted Loudly In Lift
In a situation very similar to ones in which many readers will, no doubt, have found themselves, a man in an elevator shattered the perfect silence being observed by its passengers by releasing an extra-loud fart. The pump was so loud, that the li…
Read full storyJessica Simpson’s Reality Show Wins An Award For Best New Reality Comedy Show
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) – Jessica Simpson was thrilled at receiving the coveted Emmy Award for “Best New Comedy Reality Show”. Simpson stars in the Epitome Network’s “Mama Daisy Duke and Her Redneck Boys”. Simpson says she recently took some…
Read full storyMegyn Kelly Can’t Stand The Fact That She is No Longer Relevant
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Former Fox News and NBC News flunkie Megyn Kelly spoke with Amos Soursuckle of GOPicky Magazine. The 49-year-old bleached blonde expressed to Soursuckle that she really misses being under the television spotlight.
Read full storyWho Pays Trump's Campaign Fuel Fee For Air Force One?
The public watches Donald Trump fly from city to city in a desperate attempt to salvage his doomed campaign for re-election. Who is paying for Air Force One's fuel? Rumor is, his campaign is broke, and buddies on Wall Street won’t chip in with a l…
Read full storyMan Can Remember Things From A Couple Of Days Ago Like It Was Yesterday
A man who is getting on in years but prides himself on having a very good memory for someone of his age, has said that he can clearly remember the past as if it were only yesterday! "For instance," claimed Moys Kenwood, 57, "today is Tuesday, but…
Read full storySpam, Spam, Spam!
(NOT EDITED) It has been confirmed by US and UK scientists that consuming too much 'SPAM' is a deadly disease. In fact, both variations, the porky type, and the cyber type, cause depression, suicide, obesity, and smelly breath, among other symptoms.
Read full storyLeBron James and Patrick Mahomes Urge All Professional Sports Athletes To Vote For Joe Biden
LOS ANGELES – (Sports Satire) – The Turnstile Review has divulged that sports superstars LeBron James and Patrick Mahomes are urging all fans of professional sports to please vote Trump out of the White House, by voting for the kind, caring, compassi…
Read full storyMotorcyclist Crashes After Riding Through Floodwater
A woman motorcyclist who was taking her husband to work during flooding caused by several days of torrential rain, suffered the misfortune of being thrown from the vehicle when an unseen pothole in the road almost swallowed it whole, and left the cou…
Read full storyMegyn Kelly Insults Kamala Harris and Then Gets Her Lily-White Butt Handed to Her
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – CNN says that former television news show host Megyn Kelly is trying extremely hard to become relevant again, but she is falling flat on her frumpy, frowning face. Kelly, who once said that the tooth fairy was gay,…
Read full storyHillary Clinton to shake booty for Biden (and cabinet position) at final rallies up to November 3
It is no rumor that Ms. Clinton has stated (smiling) she is looking forward to a cabinet position in Joe Biden's presidency. Moreover, Mr. Biden's rallies have left a somewhat pallid impression as having relatively few supporters and a certain dra…
Read full storyHand Sanitizer Found To Be Contaminated With COVID-19 Spores
Health officials who carried out a raid on a Chicago factory which produces hand sanitizer for use in the battle against the Coronavirus, have said they found the product was riddled with traces of the Coronavirus. The search team of CDC experts h…
Read full storyWonder Woman Gretchen Whitmer Governor Of Michigan
Aside from having the good sense of not allowing her state to become a petri dish for Coronavirus, Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan also looks like Wonder Woman! That’s really why Donald Trump is seethingly jealous of her. Trump isn’t as pret…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Tells President Trump Not To Even Think About Visiting England
LONDON – (Satire News) – Reports coming out of Buckingham Palace say that Queen Elizabeth II has made it abundantly clear to President Trump that he will never set foot in England again. According to London’s Tickety Boo News, Prince Charles noted…
Read full storyMan Pops A Cap In His Own Ass
A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom. The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real n…
Read full storyReport Shows US Economy Boosted by Arson and Violence
WASHINGTON DC - Democrats continue to claim credit for any and all positive economic news. Career bureaucrats at various agencies in the US Capitol determined that President Trump's opposition to ANTIFA will hurt economic recovery. As US GDP accelera…
Read full storyMegan Thee Stallion Rocks Her Huge Booty on Saturday Night Live
NEW YORK CITY – (Celebrity Satire) – "Saturday Night Live" returned with a big bang with Chris Rock as the host. Chris was fresh off of a comedic tour of Scandinavia. He said that he had no idea how much the Norwegians loved ghetto comedy, rap mus…
Read full storyTrump Demands Biden Infect Himself!
President Trump is furious over his having tested positive for Covid-19. During a phone interview, he said, “Biden, yes that one is a no-brainer. But I want his puppeteer, Jill Biden, infected too. By the way, I’m doing great, never better. Kungflu h…
Read full storyTwo Million U.S. Presidential Election Ballots Are Discovered in a Dumpster in Mexico
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) – Ipso Facto Illustrated Magazine is reporting that 2 million U.S. voting ballots were confiscated in Mexico by a task force comprising members with the FBI, CIA, IRS, and IUD. The ballots were transported on an Ae…
Read full storyTrump asserts election interference by Russia, Iran, Mars
US President Donald Trump affirmed today he had clear evidence Russia, Iran and Mars were interfering with the 2020 election. Speaking this morning at a campaign stop in South Bend, Indiana, the GOP leader said the FBI had presented him with proo…
Read full storyKim Jong-un Says Something, But Nobody Understands, Because It's All In Korean
There was controversy on the Korean peninsula this morning after the North's leader, Kim Jong-un, made a visually-impassioned speech about something or other that proved totally unintelligible, as everything he said was spoken in fluent Korean. Jo…
Read full storyThe Nine Lives of a Very Stable Genius
Near the end of October of 2020, a small item appeared on the AP wire feed. Lady May, the yacht seized during the arrest of the former White House Strategist, Sloppy Steve, had been seconded to the White House as the new presidential yacht. The artic…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Plays a Round of Golf in Honor of President Daddy
BEDMINSTER, New Jersey – (Sports Story) – ESPN-4 was at the President's Bedminster Golf Course when his daughter, Ivanka, teed off. The statuesque blonde was feeling very sad after having talked to her father, who told her that he was extremely de…
Read full storyMillions of Ice Cube’s Fans Tell Him To Just Shut Up and Sing
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – One thing that just about everyone is truly tired of, is these privileged celebrities who go around kissing the asses of politicians. Case in point, as reported by Hollywood Hors D’oeuvres, Ice Cube, the rapper, is losing…
Read full storyDemi Lovato Tearfully Addresses The Brad Pitt Break-Up Rumor
HOLLYWOOD – (Celebrity Satire) – A reporter with Hollywood Vis-à-Vis asked Demi Lovato about her May-December relationship with Brad Pitt. Lovato told Hacienda Dakota with HVAV that it doesn’t look good. When pressed by Dakota, the songstress t…
Read full storyMelania Trump Is Furious After Seeing The Photo of Her Husband Kissing Hope Hicks on the Lips
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A highly respected White House insider has informed Rachel Maddow of MSNBC, that First Lady Melania Trump hit the roof when she was shown the photo of her husband kissing Hope Hicks on the mouth. She reportedly c…
Read full storyImagine Trump Going Up The Escalator After January 20, 2021
Donald Trump was witnessed going down the escalator in 2015, introducing his racism to the world, then occupying the White House for four years, exercising an agenda of incompetence, to the extent of over 200,000 dead due to the coronavirus. But, in…
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Now Valued At Only £80
The Premer League season may only have kicked off three weeks ago, but after a disastrous weekend for Manchester United, when they were humbled 6-1 by Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford, fans are keen to offload 'liability' central defender and captai…
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says If Donald Trump Gets Any Fatter, Instead of a Golf Cart, He’s Going To Need a Dump Truck
NASHVILLE – (Satire News) – The Chattanooga Divulger Record stated that Taylor Swift tweeted out to her 141 million followers that if they really, really like her, they’ll vote for Joe Biden. Swift said that Joe cares about people, whereas Trump c…
Read full storyPresident Trump's Corpse Could Be Flown To Saturn
After President Donald Trump tested positive for the Coronavirus, COVID-19 last week, it's been suggested that, if he should succumb to the virus, his remains might be flown to Saturn in a reinforced titanium cask, to prevent the dangerous chemicals…
Read full storyWood-Burners must burn wood, claim German scientists
Winter is approaching, so human resistance to cold feet, flu, common-colds, cold sex in bed, dark nights, creeps wandering our streets at 05.00 pm instead of 11.00 pm, plus other negative aspects of winter is diminishing. German scientists have done…
Read full storyBiden administration forecasts long dark winter “everything in sight locked down”
It is no secret that with millions of ballots already cast, Mr. Biden is ahead in the upcoming November 3 presidential election. Accordingly, he has offered a far-ranging look into coming days with himself at the helm of the United States. Tra…
Read full storyGermany forbids people calling autumn leaves 'yellow' because Asian people might be offended!
(NOT EDITED) The utilisation of colors describing 'things' has become so sensitive that even natural occurrences are g suffering. In Germany they are busy rewriting the dictionary deleting many things, which are described by their colors, and it is p…
Read full storyHammock Collapsed, Whilst Man's Wife Was Sleeping In It
Hammocks are a 'cool' way to relax and enjoy a rest, and are known for their comfort and ability to gently rock to sleep anyone in need of a long nap - until they collapse, that is! And, despite what you might think, hammocks collapse with alarmin…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Now Claiming That Eating McDonalds French Fries is Really What Cured Him of the Coronavirus
CRACKERHEAD, Georgia – (Satire News) – The president spoke before a totally maskless crowd of 218 supporters, who cheered his every word, including 7 times when he sneezed, and 73 times when he coughed. One front row audience member was overheard…
Read full storyAmazon sales are dropping
For years, rumors have circulated on urban streets that anyone who buys from Amazon has to be gay. There may be some merit to the urban tale after Amazon's sales dropped when news broke of a transgender man being discriminated against at Amazon. A…
Read full storyAmerica weeps
Okay, so the whole world has been laughing at the States for 4 years. We all know that. It's looked on with disbelief, and often fear, while a narcissistic con artist has continuously insulted and fibbed to journalists, organizations and the planet a…
Read full storyZombie-Owned Restaurants increasing in Popularity across the Country
Despite making up less than 1% of the American population, Zombies are one of the most unique ethnic minorities in the country due to their eccentric, albeit intriguing, lifestyle. One such area of cultural distinction is the rather interesting choic…
Read full storyLiam Neeson 'Taken 4' Performance "Exceptional"
Fans of the 'Taken' movies will be interested to learn that the fourth film in the series, 'Taken 4: A Ride' will be released into cinemas a week on Monday, 9 November, or 9/11. Liam Neeson once again plays Bryan Mills, the former CIA operative wh…
Read full storyDolly Parton In Late Bid To Become US President
In news that is almost impossible for anyone to take seriously, the Country & Western music star Dolly Parton, who had a string of hits, has announced her intention to run for the presidency of the United States. Parton, who has no political e…
Read full storyConfused Joe Biden Endorses Trump
Democrat presidential nominee, Joe Biden, has bizarrely endorsed his Republican rival, Donald Trump, for president. Campaigning in Toledo, Ohio, on Tuesday, Biden provided the President with more fodder as to his mental capacity to become preside…
Read full storyChild's Bag Was Open
A teacher working at a school has told of an incident in which a child at the school where he works was spotted in the establishment's playground with a backpack that was unzipped. The incident occurred at a local school where teacher Moys Kenwood…
Read full storyThe President Trump Halloween Mask is The Nation’s #1 Seller
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette has just noted that the number one-selling Halloween mask for this Halloween season is the President Donald Trump mask. One of the nation’s leading Halloween mask producers, Masks & A…
Read full storySecret Documents Reveal That Rudy Giuliani is A Russian Spy
BALTIMORE – (Satire News) – Documents have been discovered by the iNews organization that clearly show that Trump attorney and long-time friend Rudy Giuliani is, in fact, a Russian agent. Although millions of Americans have suspected that all alon…
Read full storySpreader Man
(To be sung to the tune of Spider Man) Spreader Man, Spreader Man, Deadly neighborhood Spreader Man. Spreads his lies, any size, Treats his supporters just like flies. Look out! There goes the Spreader Man. Is he cured? Listen bud, His d…
Read full storyScott Baio is Butt-Hurt Because He Wasn’t Invited to the Happy Days Reunion
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – It’s being reported by Tittle Tattle Tonight that former child star, and now full-time Trump ass-kisser, Scott Baio, is offended at not having been invited to participate in the cast reunion of the hit situation-comedy “Ha…
Read full storyCamberwick Green Is Man's All-Time Favourite TV Show
A man who rarely comments on the subject of television has come out to confess that his all-time favourite TV show was, is, and probably will always be the BBC children's animated puppet show from the 1960s, 'Camberwick Green'. Moys Kenwood, 57, c…
Read full storyTrump Goes to Church With Hope Hicks – Where The Hell is Melania?
LAS VEGAS – (Satire News) - The Las Vegas Roulette Gazette newspaper is reporting that the president did something that he has not done in 6 years. He actually set foot in a church. Trump attended Our Lady of The Roulette Wheel in downtown Las Veg…
Read full storyPresident Trump Coronavirus Misdiagnosed
In the aftermath of the news that the most powerful man in the world, President Donald Trump, has tested positive for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, words are coming from the man, himself, that it is yet another case of fake news, and that he's ne…
Read full storyDonald Trump Secretly Agrees To An Out-of-Court Settlement With The Rolling Stones
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – President Trump was told repeatedly by the Rolling Stones to stop using one of their songs during his campaign pep rallies. Mick Jagger flat-out told Trump, “Look, you orange-complected bloke, stop using our song ‘You Can…
Read full storyThe NFL Super Bowl May Be Moved To Valentine’s Day
NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has floated the idea that Super Bowl LV (55) will be played on Sunday Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2021. He noted that, this way, all of the games that will have to be postponed, wi…
Read full storyTrump Suggests Blowing up Hoover Dam to Stop Colorado Wildfires
The current administration has come up with yet another brilliant idea, in its string of brilliant ideas, regarding dealing with national emergencies and disasters. This time, it’s an ingenious concept of solving the problem of Colorado wildfires.
Read full storyIs Trump Nuts?
Is Donald Trump nuts? Do you have to ask? Didn’t your mommy tell you to keep away from men who talked to themselves? They’re sitting on a park bench in conversation with self. Or walking down the street, shadow boxing along the way. Ladies who ta…
Read full storyPresident Trump Says He's Feeling a Bit Better After His Doctor Put Him on a Strict Anti-Coronavirus McDonald’s Food Regimen
BETHESDA, Maryland – (Satire News) – President Trump was flown to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in a U.S. Army Sikorsky UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter. Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany said that they had to use a military helicopte…
Read full storyMan Didn't Really Feel Like It Very Much Today
A man who had taken about as much as he could possibly take - and maybe even a little bit more - has said that, as far as employment matters go, he simply just could not be bothered today. "I know it sounds unprofessional," said a jaded-looking Mo…
Read full storyElastic In Underpants Was So Slack, Man Could Feel His Cock Dangling Down His Trouser Leg
A case of 'elastic with no elasticity' in a man's underpants meant they became so slack at the legholes that he was able to feel his penis dangling out of the underwear, and gently 'bobbing about' in his trouser leg. The underpants, which were on…
Read full storyPresident Trump Is Cured!
In a somewhat astonishing and confusing announcement made just minutes ago, it has been revealed that President Donald Trump, diagnosed with the Coronavirus, COVID-19, just days ago, is already feeling much better, and is set to be given the 'all-cle…
Read full storySpain’s Greatest Matador El Gazpacho is Gored in Madrid
MADRID – (Sports Satire) – Spain’s national news agency Las Pelotas is reporting that the nation’s greatest matador, Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho, has been gored in Madrid’s Eva Longoria Bullring. Las Pelotas stated that El Gazpacho, was momentaril…
Read full storyWaitrose Shoppers go on Panic Buying Rampage
As a second lockdown becomes increasingly likely, due to the dreaded virus, even Waitrose shoppers have begun to panic buy. Stores around the country are reporting shortages of black olives, ciabatta and sun-dried tomatoes. One branch in Berksh…
Read full storyMeghan Markle Reveals That She Is Writing a Juicy Tell-All Book About Queen Elizabeth
LOS ANGELES – (Satire News) – Hollywood Innuendo is reporting that Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, is currently writing a tell-all book on Queen Elizabeth, that will probably be a bit lascivious. Fajita San Guacamole, with Hollywood Innuendo…
Read full storyZoom rolls out new worry-free masturbation feature, makes pork-pulling look like note-taking
Zoom, the popular online video conferencing company, announced today a new feature with advanced artificial intelligence to let users masturbate without fussing with their camera and microphone settings, making it appear as if they are furiously tak…
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