WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after learning that her boo’s daddy has told him to dump her ass.
It appears that the President has told Junior that he better dump that big-haired ex-Fox Newser fast, and he means pronto, as they say down in Tijuana, Mexico.
Junior reportedly asked "Why?", and was told that Kimmy allegedly made some very racist remarks to one of her assistants when she was employed at Fox News.
Guilfoyle, of course, denies it, and calls it all a witch hunt. But, apparently, the complaining party provided the district attorney’s office with audio recordings, video recordings, and even several charcoal drawings.
Donald Jr's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, reportedly told ESPN-4 that she loves the NBA, Hip-Hop music, and braids.
Meanwhile, Fox News has reportedly agreed to pay the abused party $19.2 million to help cover any amnesia treatments she may need in the future.