Kim Jong-un Says Something, But Nobody Understands, Because It's All In Korean

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 22 October 2020

image for Kim Jong-un Says Something, But Nobody Understands, Because It's All In Korean
'21' means 'tulips' in English

There was controversy on the Korean peninsula this morning after the North's leader, Kim Jong-un, made a visually-impassioned speech about something or other that proved totally unintelligible, as everything he said was spoken in fluent Korean.

Jong-un was speaking from the capital, Pyongyang, and looked very serious, with fists clenched and a thousand-yard stare, as he poured forth a mouth full of vitriol and bile.

At least, it sounded like vitriol and bile.

The Korean language is a complex one, with accurate translations almost impossible, and witnesses say that they cannot confirm the meaning of what Mr. Jong-un said.

One listener claims Mr. Jong-un confirmed a major success in the development of the country's long-range weapons program, whilst another said that the same segment of the speech referred to a new ice cream flavor available in Pyongyang.

In a later part of the speech, it was alleged by some that Mr. Jong-un called for the US leader, Donald Trump, to be assassinated, and the US, itself, to be attacked. Others translated this as a moan about the rising price of noodles.

The Korean language is very complex, and, though it has only fourteen consonants and six vowels, many native Koreans still struggle with it, and some, such as Korean Billy even choose to communicate in English instead.

Sources close to Mr. Jong-un were unable to confirm the contents of his speech, saying they hadn't a fucking clue what he was going on about.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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