Biden Seen Leaving Tomb: Claims To Have Suburban Mummy Vote

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 26 October 2020

image for Biden Seen Leaving Tomb: Claims To Have Suburban Mummy Vote
Biden’s Mummy

BILLINGSGATE POST: Pollsters who predicted Sleepy Joe Biden would get the suburban mummy vote were vindicated by reports that heavily-bandaged mummies were seen standing in line to cast their vote for the man who looks like he has spent the past 3,000 years entombed in a pyramid.

Not since King Tut was the golden boy of ancient Egypt has such an inspirational leader surfaced from the dead to resurrect voters who were laid to rest years ago.

Pollsters differ on how extensive this change of voter eligibility will have on the election. Cadaver Institute spokesmummy, Oily Stiff, points out that: “There are more of us than them.”

This may well be. With newly-surfaced images of Joe Biden’s sarcophagus being opened for public display, the inspiration this may give to long-buried voters may prove to put Sleepy Joe over the hump, along with his dromedary mate, Kamala “Breath” Harris.

Slim: “You see his face? I have seen mummies better preserved than that.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Still looks better than Kamala.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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