Man Farted Loudly In Lift

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 26 October 2020

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Always a good icebreaker: a fart in a lift

In a situation very similar to ones in which many readers will, no doubt, have found themselves, a man in an elevator shattered the perfect silence being observed by its passengers by releasing an extra-loud fart.

The pump was so loud, that the lift shook.

Myke Woodson, then 52, was on his way to work, in Bangkok, in 2015, and took the lift to the 5th floor of the Central Pinklao department store, where the offices of inlingua were located.

As the elevator left the ground floor full of passengers, there was a tense silence, with many people even holding their breath.

Suddenly, from the center of the vehicle, a sound like a lion roaring broke free from Woodson's arse. A woman screamed; another fainted. Despite the fact that the lift was only eight feet square, people backed away from the farter, so that he was left in a tiny circle in the center of the small space.

Eventually, the lift reached the 5th floor, and emptied in world record time, with passengers spilling out and trampling each other underfoot in their frantic attempts to escape.

Woodson was the last person out, and parted his arse cheeks for one last underpants-staining thunderous effort, so that the next set of passengers in the lift wouldn't feel left out. would like to apologise to its readers for the late reporting of this story, but this was unavoidable as I've only just found it in my drafts from 2015.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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