The University of Texas Longhorn Band Says That Their Football Fight Song is Racist

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 October 2020

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The University of Texas Longhorn band is refusing to play "The Eyes of Texas."

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The university’s assistant band director Chris Del Monte-Corn, said that the football fight song “The Eyes of Texas” is as racist as David Duke, Ann Coulter, and Donald Trump.

Del Monte-Corn spoke with a reporter with The Austin Texan World newspaper, and stated that the football fight song is based on a Civil War era children’s song titled, “My Papi and My Mami Dey Be Pickin’ Dat Damn Cotton Pickin’ Cotton All Day Long Fa Sho Nuff”.

Reports coming out of Austin, are that all of the black members of the Longhorn football team will continue to take a knee to protest the racist song.

The black Longhorn players are being joined by the Longhorn band, the Longhorn cheerleaders, and The Fraternity of Black Longhorn Ranchers.

Meanwhile, the Black Lives Matter organization suggests that the racist song be replaced with the Temptations 1965 hit, “My Girl”.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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