NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Just when millions of people thought that no one could ever be meaner, nastier, and have more hate in their heart than Donald Trump, along comes his fake, blonde-haired daughter-in-law from Hell, Lara Trump.
The 38-year-old cellulite-infested Halloween witch has just taken the title of the meanest, cruelest, most hateful bitch award away from her daddy-in-law.
Lara, whose mom and dad obviously couldn’t spell, told a reporter with GOPicky Magazine that the President put the border children (including babies) in cages to protect them from squirrels, racoons, woodchucks, and man-eating flamingos.
The wife of Eric “Goofy” Trump pointed out that if it had not been for President Trump, the most brilliant president since President Robert E. Lee, there is no telling how many kids would have been attacked by these Coronavirus-carrying varmints.
An unnamed member of the anti-Trump group, the Lincoln Project, has said of Lara “Horse Face” Trump, that she is so effen ugly, that sex-starved lumberjacks up in Oregon, would rather molest a pine tree than to have sex with “The Wicked Witch of The Potomac”.