The current administration has come up with yet another brilliant idea, in its string of brilliant ideas, regarding dealing with national emergencies and disasters. This time, it’s an ingenious concept of solving the problem of Colorado wildfires.
“We have to thank the genius of our president, who has shown, repeatedly, that he has a recipe for everything. I mean everything, from dealing with pandemic to avoiding difficult questions asked by media,” said one of the President’s aides in an interview for our magazine.
“You probably remember the California wildfires when our president indicated that it’s all about mismanagement of the sun. Nobody believed him, which is why this disaster, created by China, left the carnage in its wake.”
“Please, listen to him now, to avoid further human casualties and billions of dollars in damage. It’s in our national interest to blow up that old and ugly Hoover Dam. The water will, like, flood everything and stuff. Firefighters can only do so much. The large quantity of water released after we blow up the damn thing will deal with any wildfire in Colorado, Nevada, or Arizona.”
“Yes, there might be some casualties and collateral damage, but we have to balance. Even the most workable solutions require some sacrifice. We’ll ask people what they prefer. To burn alive in their homes or to drown.”