WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The first lady confided to her future step-daughter-in-law that she is becoming more and more worried about the President.
Melania told Kimberly Guilfoyle that she has noticed that Donald is now having to use both hands in order to brush his teeth.
When she brought it to his attention, he yelled at her, saying that it is starting to get pretty cold in Slovenia right about now.
Kimberly replied that she thought she was from Greece. Melania told her that she had her confused with Maria Menounos.
Mrs. Trump added that even the President’s favorite relative, the “White House Barbie”, Ivanka, is starting to talk behind her daddy’s back, saying things like his eyes have shrunk down to the size of two grains of rice.
Melania also pointed out that POTUS has gained 29 pounds since leaving the hospital, and when she looks at him from behind, he looks like his fake attorney-general, Bill Barr.
The iNews Agency is reporting that, now that the Trumps’ young son, Barron, has come down with the dreaded Trumpapalooza virus, Melania is seriously considering moving up to Cape Cod, Massachusetts.