VAR Referees Haunted by Ghosts

Funny story written by cadders

Friday, 2 October 2020

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Whatever you do, don't look

After the English Premier League introduced new technology in the form of a Video Assistant Referee last season, it has been revealed that many of them are too terrified to actually watch a game, and are afraid that they are being haunted by the spirits of former managers.

"It's awful," said one. "The ghost of Alex Ferguson appears to me the night before a match. He stands over my bed and glares at me whilst pointing at his watch."

Another added: "What Jose Mourinho did to our cat is beyond disgusting. I think he's a poltergeist."

The incidents of haunting by former Premier League managers has skyrocketed in recent months, with even the dreaded Ron Atkinson returning from the grave.

"I was haunted by Alan Shearer once, but I couldn't understand a word he said, as it was all in northern," one admitted.

Another stated: "Yeah, I got done by Kenny Dalgleish last season. Don't know what he wanted, but I distinctly made out the words "diving", "fucker", and "city"."

The problem has become so bad, that at least one referee has vowed to never return to Old Trafford, due to the malevolent atmosphere and hordes of undead zombies.

Another, who asked to remain anonymous, simply admitted: "It's got so bad, I don't bother to watch the game. I just put Antiques Roadshow on instead."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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