Conor McGregor Isn't That Hard, Says Lanky, Skinny Wretch

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 18 October 2020

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A bit of a 'weed': McGregor

The former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion, mixed martial arts fighter, Conor McGregor, isn't really that hard, according to a man who knows literally nothing about the subject.

McGregor has just been very lucky, claims the man.

"He has the luck of the Irish," says Moys Kenwood, 57, "which isn't surprising, because, as many readers will know, he's Irish."

The sports enthusiast, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, says the Irishman had a few easy fights at the beginning of his career which earned him his 'hardman' reputation. After that, other fighters became more aware of him, and even fearful of him, and things have now escalated to the point where just hearing the name 'Conor McGregor' is enough to make most fighters shit in their pants.

But, says Kenwood - a lanky, skinny, long streak of piss - McGregor is a bluffer, a conman, and a fraud who lives off his reputation, and, if he ever got into the ring with someone worth his salt, he would soon be found out, and there's no doubt about that.

He added:

"He wants to put his money where his mouth is. Plain and simple, he's a bloody impostor, and he'd have got his head kicked in every day at the school where I studied."

Conor McGregor was unavailable for comment, as he was on his way to southeast Asia.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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