WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A highly respected White House insider has informed Rachel Maddow of MSNBC, that First Lady Melania Trump hit the roof when she was shown the photo of her husband kissing Hope Hicks on the mouth.
She reportedly called him every name in the book, except for predator, which she has trouble pronouncing.
Melania said that she’d had it with Donaldo’s constant skirt-chasing and vagina-grabbing addiction.
She will be speaking to her attorney, Lisa Bloom, about making sure that she gets half of everything that her cheating husband owns, as well as half of the billions of dollars that he has sitting in the Coney Island Buccaneers Bank.
Melania revealed that she’ll get custody of Barron, and Trump can keep the three friggin stooges; Donnie Jr., Ivanka, and Eric.
A very reliable source stated that Melania has been secretly corresponding with a Saudi Arabian prince since Easter.