NEW ORLEANS – (Sports Satire) – According to ESPN-4, the word out of the Big Easy is that the New Orleans Pelicans are considering Spurs assistant coach Becky Harmon for the head coach job.
Pelicans owner Gayle Benson, stated that she has checked out nine individuals who could take over the head coaching reins. She noted that eight are male and one is a female.
Mrs. Benson said that she recently interviewed Becky Hammon, and was very impressed with her amazing knowledge of the NBA, stamp collecting, and Russian history.
Hammon is noted for being able to remember the names, jersey numbers, weight, height, and birthdate of every player in the NBA, which is an astounding feat since there are 450 players in the NBA.
Becky was interviewed by Fox Sports and she was asked if she was ever intimidated by players.
She replied that even though she is only 5-feet-6, she can easily control players who are close to 7-feet tall, due to the fact that she is a ninth degree black belt.
The players all love Becky, because she can get down and bogey with them, since she knows the words to over 1,000 hip hop and rap songs.
Hammon says that she has always loved black music, and has actually attended concerts by Beyonce, Queen Latifah, Zombie Zulu Yo, and Black Kitty Meow Meow.