Man Pops A Cap In His Own Ass

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 23 October 2020

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How to pop a cap in your own ass

A man who had been practising for a bank robbery he had been planning, came unstuck earlier today when he had an accident with a loaded gun, and shot himself in his bottom.

The incident happened in a field near the home of Ken Moyswood (not real name), 57, when he tried to draw the concealed weapon out of the back of his jeans. The gun went off, and the bullet grazed his butt cheek, leaving powder burns and a nasty sore place that had to be bathed with warm water and soothed with cream, before being dressed with plasters.

His wife said it was "not serious".

Mr. Moyswood has recently been reduced to an acute state of desperation by his precarious lack of available finance, something that had prompted him to conceive the idea of robbing a bank, but this was still very much in the early stages of planning.

Moyswood said:

"As one might say, I appear to have popped a cap in my own ass."

The muppet said the accident was a minor setback, and that he is more determined than ever to rob a bank of lots of pieces of paper that represent the capitalist concept of 'money', in order to ensure his family can continue to eat their din-din.

WARNING: The management and writers of would like to advise readers that guns are not toys - apart from toy guns - and their use should not be taken lightly. Children who would like to own a weapon should first get the permission of their parents.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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