Spam, Spam, Spam!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 14 October 2020

image for Spam, Spam, Spam!
It matters not which version you are afflicted by; SPAM, SPAM, SPAM IS SHIT!

(NOT EDITED) It has been confirmed by US and UK scientists that consuming too much 'SPAM' is a deadly disease. In fact, both variations, the porky type, and the cyber type, cause depression, suicide, obesity, and smelly breath, among other symptoms.

In the middle of another pandemic, you know which one Dr. Jaggedone means, the human race also has to deal with over-doses of SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, on laptops, smartphones, computers, E Mails, and in our bellies.

Loony-bins all over the planet have been inundated with humans going completely bonkers wishing to enter their establishments for a bit of R and R because of overdoses of SPAM hitting their only possibility of connecting to other zombies on social-media platforms, etc. Luckily, loony-bins, have not been really affected by that other pandemic because inmates there are clever enough not to make contact with those causing the pandemic, who believe they are normal, but really are fucking ignorant NUTTERS!

The porky version of SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, has become popular as conspiracy-loonies, first in the queues, raid supermarkets once again blagging everything in their wake; bog-paper, tissues, cleaning products, and of course, dreaded SPAM + Corned Beef, just in case the planet is locked-down again! Mind you WW1 soldiers survived on it; food for thought maybe?

However, porky SPAM, is not healthy, fatty, filled with E numbers, kills piggies, and tastes like Indian Rubber, quite revolting actually, but it's better than eating bog-rolls. Kids fed on SPAM & Corned Beef have a higher risk of becoming obese because stuck indoors, sitting on laptops, and their smartphones 24/7 is a contagious disease too.

Dr. Jaggedone has a simple remedy for both SPAM related diseases; Fuck social media platforms, and their ads! Only horde dry bread and water, certainly no SPAM, a recipe that will cure all attempts to ever ignore the dire warnings about 'lockdowns' again, and will certainly cure obesity!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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