WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – CNN is reporting that every maid and cook in the White House has abandoned the Trumpapalooza-infested White House.
A Trump staff member, who did not want his name revealed, said that, as soon as the President walked into the White House, he asked one of the cooks to make him a hamburger.
The maid reportedly made the sign of the cross and told him to make his own effen hamburger.
All of the White House maids and cooks call Trump Hitler behind his back. One of the cooks said that Trump actually makes Hitler look like the 1980s sissified comedian, Pee Wee Herman.
White House maid, Helga Gunnarlunt, 31, told CNN’s Kaitlan Collins, that the President is the most hateful, arrogant, evil SOB that she has ever known.
She noted that, on several occasions, he threatened her and fellow maid Gertrud Osterholm, 27, with deportation back to Sweden, if he ever found even one speck of dust on the portrait of racist president Andrew Jackson.
And so it looks like the White House cleaning duties and the cooking duties, are now going to fall on Kimberly Guilfoyle, Eric Trump, and #1 Trump ass-kisser Lindsey Graham.