Amazon sales are dropping

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Wednesday, 7 October 2020

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For years, rumors have circulated on urban streets that anyone who buys from Amazon has to be gay. There may be some merit to the urban tale after Amazon's sales dropped when news broke of a transgender man being discriminated against at Amazon.

A transgender man in New Jersey is suing Amazon, claiming he was harassed and denied a promotion with the online giant after telling his boss he was pregnant.

Shaun 'big man' Simmons, as he is known to coworkers, claims he told supervisor Mike Mentos he had a vagina. Mentos then told another supervisor, Tyler Hoppy, and word spread through the Princeton fulfillment center, according to a federal lawsuit, which was filed Monday.

After that, Hoppy tried kissing 'big man' Simmons while he was on a coffee break.

Simmons became pregnant by surprise, saying he hadn't had sex with anyone in the last 10 years, and didn't know how it had happened.

He alleges that Hoppy contributed to a hazardous work place by typically masturbating in the bathroom and, afterwards, approaching and shaking Simmons hand to greet him during his lunch break. Simmons claims that he whips himself often in the bathroom and must have picked up Hoppy's sperm.

Simmons claims he told Hoppy about his pregnancy in June 2019, and Hoppy denied being the father. He argued that all the men in the office wipe sperm on their hands, and it's a natural unavoidable circumstance.

Simmons is, instead, claiming harassment based on gender and on pregnancy under New Jersey’s Law Against Discrimination.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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