CRACKERHEAD, Georgia – (Satire News) – The president spoke before a totally maskless crowd of 218 supporters, who cheered his every word, including 7 times when he sneezed, and 73 times when he coughed.
One front row audience member was overheard telling his girlfriend that Trump looked horrible; kind of like he had been hit with a bag of bowling balls.
The first lady told CNN’s Don Lemon that the president is starting to talk in his sleep.
Melania said that if her husband mentions Stormy Daniels name one more time in his sleep, he won’t have to worry about losing the election, because she’ll cap his ass.
Ivanka’s step-mother said that Donaldo, is starting to scare the hell out of her.
When Lemon asked why, she replied that he is telling his sons Don Jr. and Eric that his diet of McDonalds French Fries has cured him of the Coronavirus.
Word coming out of the McDonalds headquarters is that they have just tripled their amount of television commercials, and are focusing on their award-winning French Fries.