Dr. Fauci Admits to Real Reason for Donning Mask

Funny story written by Reggie "Rex" Stain

Friday, 15 May 2020

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In what has become a routine and welcome display of honesty and character, Dr. Anthony Fauci, lead member of the Trump Administration's Coronavirus Task Force, admitted that he donned a mask today in public for the first time citing the need for added "protection".

The appearance of a masked Fauci took place on the South Lawn during a Trump press briefing. Trump was expectedly not wearing a mask, but for the first time, those who normally surround him were. The President said that he gave everyone the option of wearing masks, and, oddly, all of his staff took him up on the offer.

Fauci, questioned later, said that he needed to wear the mask for additional protection, but not from the contagion.

"During one of his briefings a few weeks ago, I was caught dropping my head and smirking at, yet again, an incoherent rambling from the president," he said. "I was pulled from future briefings for some time, and an effort by Trump and his inner circle attempted to get me fired."

Fauci smiled and continued, "I am so thankful I can now wear a mask, so I can smile, frown, giggle, and even stick my tongue out at his inane, fatuous, and idiotic statements. The mask is my added protection from getting fired! Just look at the way my eyes are crinkled as he talks. It is such a relief!"

When asked if the others on staff donned masks for the same reason, Fauci winked and said, "Of course not, I am sure they are concerned about the spread of the virus. . . the cachinnation virus, of course!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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