There were 494 spoof news stories published in April 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Uber Passenger Upset By Drivers Review

Uber Passenger Upset By Drivers Review

Duncan Whitehead, a 53-year-old author, businessman, and male model from Fort Lauderdale, was shocked and saddened Wednesday after receiving a sub-par rating and review from uber driver Jose Fernandez. The rating out of 5 given to Whitehead was 2, a...

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Funny story: President Trump Says Hydroxychloroquine Is That Stuff They Put In Toothpaste

President Trump Says Hydroxychloroquine Is That Stuff They Put In Toothpaste

In the relentless battle being fought to discover a cure for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, President Donald Trump has confirmed that Hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) is perfectly safe, as it is already a main constituent of most major brands of toothpast...

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Funny story: Flouting Shelter in Place Order, Nashville Man Takes Stand for Constitutional Rights by Leaving House to Check Mail

Flouting Shelter in Place Order, Nashville Man Takes Stand for Constitutional Rights by Leaving House to Check Mail

Refusing to be deprived of his Constitutional right to liberty, to peaceably assemble, and to practice the religion he describes as naturalism, Mitch Walden of Nashville, Tennessee, unabashedly flouted the Tennessee governor’s COVID-19 shelter in pla...

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Funny story: Family Game Of Monopoly Ends In Murder Suicide

Family Game Of Monopoly Ends In Murder Suicide

A man shot and killed his wife and three other family members in Florida, before turning the gun on himself, according to a report in the Fort Lauderdale Times. The apparent murder-suicide happened on Sunday afternoon, whilst the family were in fo...

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Funny story: Bored Tesla AI Assaults Driver

Bored Tesla AI Assaults Driver

(Albuquerque, NM) A Tesla Model S owned by Lalo Salamanca, resident of the sprawling metropolitan area around Albuquerque, New Mexico, is the latest owner of a vehicle from that manufacturer to report extremely unusual behavior that borders on downri...

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Funny story: Healthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus

Healthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus

The officially healthiest man in the world, Chris. P. Bacon, has died after having tested positive for the coronavirus COVID-19. Chris was admitted to hospital at 11.30 this morning, with three gunshot wounds to the chest, but died shortly after bein...

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Funny story: Bible Stories Explained: The Feeding Of The 5,000

Bible Stories Explained: The Feeding Of The 5,000

The Bible is an interesting book. Many people have read it, all over the world. But, as well as being interesting and widely-read, it can also be a difficult read, and much of its content often needs much further explanation before one can understand...

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Funny story: Hull Man Thinking of Just Starting Over Again In Grimsby

Hull Man Thinking of Just Starting Over Again In Grimsby

After this week's freezing weather and rain began to get to him, Hull resident, Scott Galloway, confirmed, on Thursday, that he is seriously considering packing it all up, and moving somewhere different, like Grimsby. “I hate the winters here, th...

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Funny story: Wheelie Bin Can Levitate

Wheelie Bin Can Levitate

A couple from Portsmouth have said they have photographic evidence that their neighbours' wheelie bin is possessed by spirits - possibly evil - and is able to levitate above the footpath. Wally and Madge Crapper have seen the grey bin, which is em...

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Funny story: Man Tried To Get Three Cups Of Tea Out Of The Same Tea Bag - With Disastrous Results!

Man Tried To Get Three Cups Of Tea Out Of The Same Tea Bag - With Disastrous Results!

A man who is quickly exhausting his supply of tea bags due to his increased consumption during the Coronavirus lockdown, has revealed how an attempt at economizing, by re-using the bags a second, or, even, third time, went disastrously wrong at the w...

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Funny story: Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew

Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew

Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is Jewish. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really adm...

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Funny story: President Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports

President Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports

The use of recorded or 'canned' laughter, often employed to encourage studio audience participation, is to be introduced into television news reports that cover the speeches of US president, Donald Trump, it has been revealed. With so much of the…

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Funny story: Trump to withhold millions of dollars in funding to White House Occupant (WHO).

Trump to withhold millions of dollars in funding to White House Occupant (WHO).

President Donald Trump announced recently that he is halting funding to the White House Occupant (WHO) while his administration reviews the handling of the coronavirus, accusing the WHO of bungling the response and failing to communicate the disease’...

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Funny story: Victor's Railroad to Hell

Victor's Railroad to Hell

THE world’s dumbest train driver has got lost for the last time. Victor Wayakeya, who had been found wandering from his train looking at dirt tracks on four previous occasions, left his passengers stranded by a field in Omaha when he lost his bear...

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Funny story: Through Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential

Through Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential

In a dating tour de force, after being contacted out of the blue by an attractive older woman he’d always had a thing for but had never succeeded in enticing into the sack, 37-year-old Clem Lyons of Nashville, Tennessee, scored the permission of the...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde

Boris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde

In an astounding double take, Boris Johnson has admitted gargling with formaldehyde in an attempt to keep up with Donald Trump. When asked, outside number 10 this morning, Mr Johnson replied; "It was on sound advice, from Donald, that I give it a...

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Funny story: Olympics Postponement Has Messed Up Drug Cheats' Careful Planning

Olympics Postponement Has Messed Up Drug Cheats' Careful Planning

The news, yesterday, that this summer's Olympic Games in Tokyo have been postponed for one year, until July 2021, is a massive body blow to athletes who have thought long and hard about their use of performance-enhancing drugs to get the best out of...

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Funny story: Florida Man Working From Home Clock Watches Wishing For End Of Working Day

Florida Man Working From Home Clock Watches Wishing For End Of Working Day

David Pines, 65, from Fort Lauderdale, in Florida, sighs in exasperation, and checks the clock above his kitchen table for the tenth time in so many minutes. Wednesday, he had spent a long day working from home due to the imposed lockdown declared...

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Funny story: Self Isolating Grandmother Finally Discovers Porn On The Internet

Self Isolating Grandmother Finally Discovers Porn On The Internet

A self-isolating senior from Baltimore has discovered that internet porn 'is a thing', after spending the last sixteen days surfing the internet, and scrolling through dozens of online search results. 70-year-old Martha Mullett admitted, Monday, t...

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Funny story: NASA Discovers a Brand New Planet

NASA Discovers a Brand New Planet

HOUSTON – NASA has just informed the media that planetary scientists have just made an astounding discovery. The team of scientists, who use the code name, 'the Brainiacs', have announced that they have just discovered a planet that they guess is...

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Funny story: President Trump Touts “Game-changer Bigger Than Hydrochloroquine" in Battle Against Coronavirus Spread

President Trump Touts “Game-changer Bigger Than Hydrochloroquine" in Battle Against Coronavirus Spread

(Washington, DC) President Trump excitedly took to the podium in today’s White House Coronavirus briefing by proclaiming he had uncovered a miracle breakthrough in the battle to fight the spread of the highly-contagious virus, and was fast-tracking f...

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Funny story: Man's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies

Man's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies

The latest on the deadly Coronavirus is that a man who has a Facebook 'friend' he hasn't seen since school, says the 'friend' firmly believes China developed the virus specifically to spread throughout the world in order to destroy western economies,…

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Funny story: Man With Hairy Back, Palms And Feet Does NOT Have Coronavirus After Coughing All Night

Man With Hairy Back, Palms And Feet Does NOT Have Coronavirus After Coughing All Night

Scott Needham, an unemployable layabout from Blackpool, who still lives with his mum, despite being nearly 30 years old, was filled with relief on Thursday, after doctors gave him the all-clear from the coronavirus, after he coughed non-stop for thre...

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Funny story: Corona Beer May Be Changing Its Name

Corona Beer May Be Changing Its Name

GUADALAJARA, Mexico – Cerveza Popocatpetl, the company that brews Corona Beer, has just announced that after getting thousands of letters, emails, texts, phone calls, and even three singing telegrams, they are seriously considering changing the name...

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Funny story: Trump awarded Noble Prize for research into viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy

Trump awarded Noble Prize for research into viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy

Scientists in Warsaw, Poland have awarded the 2020 Noble Prize for scientific research to U.S. President Donald J. Trump for advancements in the fields of internal viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy. The Noble Committee made the announce...

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Funny story: Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Dwayne Johnson Is 'Mixed'

Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Dwayne Johnson Is 'Mixed'

Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is 'mixed'. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really ad...

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Funny story: No one is teaching Pythagorus's Theorum

No one is teaching Pythagorus's Theorum

It would appear that while many parents have been homeschooling their children during the Coronovirus lockdown, no-one is teaching Pythagoras' Theorem. So, in order to right this small, but not insignificant, oversight, here it is: In a right-a...

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Funny story: Liverpool Taxi Driver Lets Passengers Know Where All The Black People Live

Liverpool Taxi Driver Lets Passengers Know Where All The Black People Live

Liverpudlian cab driver, Barry 'BJ' Cross, a thin man with pearly unnaturally-white teeth, is providing, in his mind, an essential service to visitors to the city made famous by the Beatles, football and stolen television sets and hubcaps. "When I...

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Funny story: Hallmark Channel Causes Weight Gain in Women

Hallmark Channel Causes Weight Gain in Women

Lori Laughlin and Steve Guttenberg’s bank accounts aren’t the only thing growing since the Hallmark Channel’s inception. The stories have a certain saccharine formula; always Christmas with blue skies, and a dusting of snow on the ground - and, for s...

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Funny story: Scientists Reluctantly Share New “Earth-Like” Planet Discovery

Scientists Reluctantly Share New “Earth-Like” Planet Discovery

(Pasadena, California) On what would normally be joyously hailed as “hope that a second Earth lies among the stars,” scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology today unenthusiastically mentioned the disco...

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Funny story: Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown

Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown

The Coronavirus may be bringing the end of the world as we, the human race, know it, but it won't be the end of the world for anything else on the planet - in fact, the disappearance of homo sapiens from the landscape is already having a beneficial...

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Funny story: Family Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown

Family Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown

A family of four who, like everybody else in Britain, have been enduring the Coronavirus lockdown with mounting frustration and irritation, have now been able to add 'confusion' to that list, after admitting to the fact that they had lost all track...

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Funny story: Dennis Rodman to Visit Kim Jong-un in the Hospital

Dennis Rodman to Visit Kim Jong-un in the Hospital

LOS ANGELES – One of the NBA’s greatest rebounders has informed the news media that he will be traveling to Pyongyang, North Korea, to visit his BFF, Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un, in the hospital. Rodman, who has more tattoos, piercings, and gold j...

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Funny story: Thousands Volunteer to Visit North Korean Dictator Kim Rather than Stay in Cov-19 Lockdown

Thousands Volunteer to Visit North Korean Dictator Kim Rather than Stay in Cov-19 Lockdown

According to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, tens of thousands of Americans suffering from severe cabin fever have volunteered to travel to North Korea for the sole purpose of checking on the medical condition of that country's infamous Dictator, Kim...

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Funny story: Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus

Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus

Greta Thunberg has a lot on her plate, these days. As if accelerated climate change and impending environmental disaster through global warming weren't enough for the young Swedish activist, there's now the Coronavirus to contend with - it never rain...

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Funny story: The Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves

The Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves

NEW YORK CITY – The toy manufacturing company Toypaloosa is reporting that sales of the new Governor Andrew Cuomo Action Figure Doll are going through the roof. Governor Cuomo has become very popular of late because he conducts his daily C-19 pres...

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Funny story: McDonalds To Honor President Trump With A New Modified Burger

McDonalds To Honor President Trump With A New Modified Burger

NEW YORK CITY – The McDonalds Corporation has stated that they, like all fast food restaurants, are losing a tremendous amount of business. The New York World Register newspaper is reporting that people are not going out to eat because of the COVI...

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Funny story: Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

Multiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing

The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...

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Funny story: US Bacon Crisis Leads to Pentagon Red Alert

US Bacon Crisis Leads to Pentagon Red Alert

Waterloo, Iowa - "NO BACON", that was the critical situation report which NSA and top military analysts saw at 5:40am, as they prepared to deliver the White House Daily Brief. For more than half of a century, the Pentagon has been able to tell the Pr...

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Funny story: Stock Market. Latest news Headlines

Stock Market. Latest news Headlines

Able Paper and Card fold. Dynamo Elevators coming down. Texas Rifles C.E.O. fired. Blaines Construction cement new deal. Forte Hotels put financial troubles to bed. Strombone Machines on the slide. Carson Fireworks explode onto the market. Gor...

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Funny story: Time Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown

Time Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown

The well-worn phrase which implies that time moves faster when we are enjoying ourselves, and that it drags when we are not, has been given scientific credibility at last, after countless people rang the BBC to complain that time was now progressing...

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Funny story: Right-Wing "Pandemic Preppers" Pledge to Make America Germ-Free Again

Right-Wing "Pandemic Preppers" Pledge to Make America Germ-Free Again

Members of the right-wing movement known as the Pandemic Preppers, who have embraced COVID-19 and its trappings not just as a riveting national crisis but as a lifestyle, have tweaked the Trump “MAGA” motto to “Make America germ-free again.” Said...

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Funny story: Trump Assures Americans that They’ll Be Able to Return to Their Crappy Low-Paying Jobs without Health Insurance Soon

Trump Assures Americans that They’ll Be Able to Return to Their Crappy Low-Paying Jobs without Health Insurance Soon

With the end of the national COVID-19 lockdown in sight, United States President Donald Trump reassured Americans currently unemployed as a result of coronavirus-related business shutdowns that they will be able to return to their crappy, low-paying...

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Funny story: So, The Fake President Is Suggesting Disinfectant Enemas To Get Rid Of Coronavirus

So, The Fake President Is Suggesting Disinfectant Enemas To Get Rid Of Coronavirus

So, at a press conference or election rally, after calling a few reporters representing fake news, President Trump suggested what sounded like using disinfectant enemas to kill the coronavirus. Editor’s note: You are fired. Reply: Wait, hear me...

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Funny story: Britain's Reserves Of Quavers Running Dangerously Low

Britain's Reserves Of Quavers Running Dangerously Low

The British snack and crisp community reacted with shock on Friday, when the UK Department of Food Resources announced that the nation’s Quaver reserves, long thought large enough to carry the country into the 22nd century, are, in fact, running dang...

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Funny story: Roger Stone’s Yorkie Just Got Hosed

Roger Stone’s Yorkie Just Got Hosed

BILLINGSGATE POST: The noose just got tighter for Roger Stone. Judge Amy Jackson Berman denied him a retrial. The only man in the World with a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back is going to have to wait for President Trump to pardon him. Judge B...

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Funny story: Originator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough

Originator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough

(Baltimore, Maryland) As the Coronavirus continues its spread to every inhabited corner of the planet, everyday citizens’ appetite for the disease’s telemetry has grown exponentially, mainly to enable them to debate their expertise on epidemiology on...

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Funny story: The Spoof Acquired By The ONION In Hostile Takeover

The Spoof Acquired By The ONION In Hostile Takeover

BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wall Street Journal announced today that The ONION, an American satirical digital media company based in Chicago, has acquired its counterpart in Great Britain by going to its shareholders to get the acquisition approved; a ho...

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Funny story: Paper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms

Paper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms

The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has informed Americans that covering one’s face with a mask constructed from cloth, paper towels, or even toilet paper is acceptable, if one is in a position where one’s nose and mouth should be covered and a me...

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Funny story: Wuhan Now Surrounded By Wall

Wuhan Now Surrounded By Wall

Wuhan, the Chinese city where it's thought the deadly Coronavirus originated, has been photographed by satellite cameras from space, and is now surrounded by what is thought to be, a tall perimeter wall snaking all the way around the city of 14 milli...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Questions whether He’s Truly Evolving

Nashville Man Questions whether He’s Truly Evolving

Always intent on being on the cutting edge of his species, 42-year-old Trent Buchanan of Nashville, Tennessee, had been certain that he was personally helping advance humanity – only for a call from his mother inquiring about his job status to cause...

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Funny story: Apple Announces iPhone 12 Will Use Genitalia Recognition

Apple Announces iPhone 12 Will Use Genitalia Recognition

(Cupertino, California) Acknowledging a new world order due to the pandemic where society will never return to normal, Apple announced that the next generation iPhone – the iPhone 12 – will feature genitalia recognition to unlock the screen, rather t...

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Funny story: Scientists at NASA Now Admit That the Big Dipper is Really Not as Big as Everyone Thinks It Is

Scientists at NASA Now Admit That the Big Dipper is Really Not as Big as Everyone Thinks It Is

HOUSTON – A group of extremely brilliant scientists at NASA have made an amazing discovery regarding the Big Dipper (aka Ursa Major). After implementing a brand new state-of-the-art extremely-high-powered telescope, that was produced on the Paci...

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Funny story: Members of the Never Trump Organization Say That None of Them Have Received Their $1,200 Economic Impact Checks

Members of the Never Trump Organization Say That None of Them Have Received Their $1,200 Economic Impact Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has said that the $1,200 Economic Impact Checks have all been mailed out. A spokesman for the anti-Trump group calling itself the Never-Trump Organization told the media that none of their more than 65,000 member...

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Funny story: Trump becomes epicenter of coronavirus

Trump becomes epicenter of coronavirus

"This is absolute," said President Trump, as he spoke to astonished journalists on the White House lawn. Originally, the President had thought coronavirus to be something bad affecting computers. Having established the Administration had no Corona...

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Funny story: Snickers To Revert To Being Called Marathon

Snickers To Revert To Being Called Marathon

Snickers, the US chocolate bar that, until July 1990, was sold in the UK under the brand name Marathon, is to revert back to its more popular traditional name, because people think Snickers sounds daft. Snickers were introduced in the United State...

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Funny story: American Idol’s “Sing-at-Home” Show Was a Tremendous Success

American Idol’s “Sing-at-Home” Show Was a Tremendous Success

HOLLYWOOD – The producers of American Idol are high-fiving each other, as their idea to have all 20 singers perform in the privacy of their own homes hit it out of the ballpark. The show’s host, Ryan Seacrest, said he was amazed at how smoothly th...

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Funny story: Archaeologists Discover The Bones of A Fighting Bull Underneath the North Pole

Archaeologists Discover The Bones of A Fighting Bull Underneath the North Pole

COLD VILLAGE, North Pole – A group of archaeologists from Zimbabwe recently made quite a discovery. The team of scientists traveled to the North Pole to study the migratory, dietary, and sexual habits of the Emperor penguins who are prone to havin...

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Funny story: McDonald’s Adds Sweet Crude to Value Menu

McDonald’s Adds Sweet Crude to Value Menu

(Chicago, IL) In a surprising move, fast-food giant McDonald’s added “Barrel of Crude Oil” to their world-wide menu offerings yesterday, where it is featured on the Value Menu or Dollar Menu joining all-time favorites the McChicken and the McDouble.

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Funny story: Bon Jovi's Song Contest About The Coronavirus Meets With Aggression From Online Humor Writer.

Bon Jovi's Song Contest About The Coronavirus Meets With Aggression From Online Humor Writer.

Bon Jovi, the leader of the Grammy award-winning popular rock band from Boston that also bears his name, has gotten an unexpected pie in the face from an unnamed humor writer from the online website 'Humoroutcasts'. It all started when Jon Bon Jov...

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Funny story: McDonalds To Start Selling Beer

McDonalds To Start Selling Beer

CHICAGO – The nation’s leading hamburger chain has just made an announcement that has shocked the fast food industry. Uma Ragland, a spokesperson for the golden arches company, said that the Coronavirus pandemic has really affected their business.

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Might Refuse To Play If He's Not Completely Satisfied It's Safe To Do So

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Might Refuse To Play If He's Not Completely Satisfied It's Safe To Do So

The Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has sparked controversy this afternoon, after saying that he won't be taking to the pitch to play football again until he is absolutely certain that it is completely safe to do so.

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim

There may not be much football being played at the moment, due to the Coronavirus shutdown, but everyone has to eat, and food costs money, and this seems to be the primary reason why Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has...

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Funny story: Local Man Attempting To Walk 5000 Meters On His 100th Birthday Breaks Both Legs, Fractures Right Arm And Suffers Serious Concussion

Local Man Attempting To Walk 5000 Meters On His 100th Birthday Breaks Both Legs, Fractures Right Arm And Suffers Serious Concussion

Admiral Tim Less, from Mowtow Mulberry, failed in his bid to raise money for the NHS on his 100th birthday, after he tripped and fell just seven meters into his marathon walk. Tim, a WWII Veteran, had decided to raise some money on his birthday,...

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Funny story: Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

Free Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – Nick Folk has been an NFL kicker for 12 years, and he is currently a free agent, having been released by the New England Patriots. Folk has expressed a strong desire to join ex-teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski wit...

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Funny story: WebMD Algorithms Prove Unflappable on Company's Covid-19 Self Diagnosis Site

WebMD Algorithms Prove Unflappable on Company's Covid-19 Self Diagnosis Site

(Elgin, Illinois) Since its founding in 1998, WebMD has been a valuable medical website to educate its visitors on a myriad of health-related topics. From learning about Morgellons Disease to understanding if your body is low on Hyaluronic Acid, WebM...

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Funny story: Progressives Explain It’s Not Martial Law, It’s Viral Law

Progressives Explain It’s Not Martial Law, It’s Viral Law

After years of questioning United States President Donald Trump’s sweeping use of executive powers and internationally provocative militarism, American progressives, thanks to COVID-19, have embraced a sweeping infringement of civil liberties, explai...

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Funny story: Tom Brady Says He Will Compensate Buccaneers Receiver Chris Goodwin for Giving Up His #12 Jersey

Tom Brady Says He Will Compensate Buccaneers Receiver Chris Goodwin for Giving Up His #12 Jersey

TAMPA BAY – The sports world had been wondering if the new Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady, was going to end up having to get a new number, since #12 was already taken by wide receiver Chris Goodwin. There were rumors floating around Fl...

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Funny story: New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

New Aftershave Will Help With Social Distancing

A brand new aftershave that is due to be released onto the commercial market on Monday, is being touted as the perfect gift for those women who are finding social distancing from their man so difficult. Indeed, it will act like a shield. The af...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Going To Barcelona?

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Going To Barcelona?

It seems almost too unbelievable to be true - especially at this moment in time, with the whole world at the mercy of a global health scare from the Coronavirus pandemic - but it seems that Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has s...

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Funny story: Chrysler to Introduce the World’s Smallest Car

Chrysler to Introduce the World’s Smallest Car

DETROIT – The Chrysler Motor Corporation has just announced that they will soon be coming out with a brand new automobile. Chrysler spokeswoman Pamela Paloonick, 59, said that the car giant will be introducing the 2021 Chrysler Koala. She stat...

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Funny story: Egyptian Scientists Discover 3 Pyramids on Jupiter

Egyptian Scientists Discover 3 Pyramids on Jupiter

CAIRO, Egypt – A group of celestial scientists at Cairo’s prestigious Sandman University have just made a remarkable discovery. The group leader, Dr. Abudabees Bakmani, informed the Cairo news media that his group has just discovered three pyramid...

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Funny story: Pandemic an opportunity for investors

Pandemic an opportunity for investors

The world might be in lockdown, but there's big money to be made out there by eagle-eyed capitalists. Funeral company, Grave Situation, of Bury, England have reported a 350% increase in turnover for April, after they offered a two-for-the-price-of...

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Funny story: Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

News is emerging from a number of different sources that, under the very noses of millions of investors, banks are stealing the money they are supposed to be safeguarding. The awful and difficult-to-believe news was first aired on a bus going in t...

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Funny story: Levis Announces Edgy New Jeans Line to Pair With iPhone 12 Genitalia Recognition

Levis Announces Edgy New Jeans Line to Pair With iPhone 12 Genitalia Recognition

(San Francisco, California) While many internationally-known clothing brands have maintained status quo production levels, Levi Strauss and Company’s top engineers are working to keep up with Apple’s latest announcement that the iPhone 12 will featur...

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Funny story: Bernie Sanders Insists His Endorsement of Joe Biden Almost as Enthusiastic as His 2016 Endorsement of Hillary Clinton

Bernie Sanders Insists His Endorsement of Joe Biden Almost as Enthusiastic as His 2016 Endorsement of Hillary Clinton

Weeks after suspending his own run for the Democratic presidential nomination, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders issued a statement officially backing presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden, stating that his endorsement of Biden was almost as enthusia...

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Funny story: Kim Jong Un Transferred to US Walter Reed Hospital in Late Night Rescue Mission

Kim Jong Un Transferred to US Walter Reed Hospital in Late Night Rescue Mission

(Bethesda, MD) Under direct orders from President Trump, North Korea’s president, Kim Jong Un, was airlifted out of the country’s capital city in a late-night rescue mission, and flown to the United States, where he was admitted to the Walter Reed Ar...

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Funny story: A Poem About The Plague

A Poem About The Plague

With the world at the mercy of the threat the deadly Coronavirus has thrust upon us, it might settle a few nerves if we all had a nice cup of tea and a sit down, and partook of some gentle poetry. As readers will, perhaps, know, poetry can be very...

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Funny story: Barack The Great Finally Crowns Biden As His Successor

Barack The Great Finally Crowns Biden As His Successor

BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne as Imperator Augustus on December 25, 800, has a man been so deified by the masses. Barack the Great is in step to follow Charles the Great, who ruled the Holy Roman Empire until he died...

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Funny story: Dennis Rodman Said He is Smitten With Kim Jong-un’s Little Sister Kim Yo-jong

Dennis Rodman Said He is Smitten With Kim Jong-un’s Little Sister Kim Yo-jong

PYONGYANG, North Korea – Former NBA basketball star, Dennis Rodman, has been friends with North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un since Columbus Day of 2013. Rodman, who stands 6-foot-7-inches tall, clearly towers over Kim, who stands 5-foot-7-inc...

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Funny story: CDC Encourages Americans that Lessons They’re Learning from COVID-19 Will Serve Them Well in Next Pandemic, Which Will Likely Be More Like Leprosy

CDC Encourages Americans that Lessons They’re Learning from COVID-19 Will Serve Them Well in Next Pandemic, Which Will Likely Be More Like Leprosy

Congratulating Americans on their response to the deadly worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouraged people that they'll be able to apply the lessons they’re learning from coronavirus in the next pandemic, w...

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Funny story: Letters to the Editor about Coronavirus

Letters to the Editor about Coronavirus

Dear Sir, this crisis has had some good results. One is that we are going back to many of the old ways, with not being able to go out and the supermarket shelves emptied of toilet rolls and suppositories. My husband has gone back to not wiping...

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Funny story: The Atlanta Falcons Organization is Considering Moving the Team out of Georgia

The Atlanta Falcons Organization is Considering Moving the Team out of Georgia

ATLANTA – In spite of the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic, the state of Georgia has decided to open up for business. But, although stores are opening up, customers are not exactly flocking back. One Atlanta shop owner, who sells crackers, reported...

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Funny story: Dorking East Parish Newsletter. (Covid-19) Edition.

Dorking East Parish Newsletter. (Covid-19) Edition.

Hello, one and all. Father Hacket here. It has been a trying time for everyone, hasn't it? The church hall hasn't been this quiet since Mr Fumble murdered Mr Lace at the 'Bring and Buy Sale'. I still maintain he could not have inserted that lamp s...

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Funny story: Green Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Says He’s Keeping in Shape by Throwing Passes to Danica Patrick

Green Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Says He’s Keeping in Shape by Throwing Passes to Danica Patrick

DEL MAR, California – Aaron Rodgers and his girlfriend, Danica Patrick, have been quietly sheltering in place in their mansion in Del Mar. The Packers quarterback says that, since the two are self-isolating, they go out in the backyard every day,...

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Funny story: Sheffield United clinch sensational Premier League Title

Sheffield United clinch sensational Premier League Title

Pegs flew and tempers flared at the final matches of this season's Premier League after the armchair decision to complete fixtures not in stadiums behind closed doors, but at the Cat and Custard Pot in Paddlesworth, Kent, a pub long in tradition with...

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Funny story: Greta Thunberg New Single Out This Week

Greta Thunberg New Single Out This Week

Greta Thunberg, the Swedish schoolgirl global warming climate change environmental activist, has had an exhausting twelve months, wagging her admonishing index finger at governments worldwide, but she's also been busy in the recording studio, and rel...

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Funny story: Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Are Together Again

Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Are Together Again

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – One of the NFL’s most successful all-time quarterback/receiver duos is being reunited. Long-time New England Patriots teammates and best friends, Tom Brady and Ron Gronkowski, will once again get to thrill football fan...

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Funny story: President Trump Vows to Stop Asking The Press Conference Reporters to Ask Him Questions

President Trump Vows to Stop Asking The Press Conference Reporters to Ask Him Questions

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A White House insider, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that she has never seen the president so upset, so angry, and so downright bat shit crazy as he’s been the past few days. The insider remarked that the president i...

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Funny story: Ivanka Trump Reboots Her Clothing Line to do Her Part in Coronavirus War

Ivanka Trump Reboots Her Clothing Line to do Her Part in Coronavirus War

Like distilleries now making hand sanitizer and the big three automakers converting assembly lines from automobiles to make ventilators, Ivanka Trump has restarted her clothing business to do her part in helping America get through this pandemic (all...

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Funny story: Quintessences Vol. 1: On the Coronavirus

Quintessences Vol. 1: On the Coronavirus

Good evening. Having been instructed to produce a short treatise dealing with the Coronavirus scandal to which we are all currently subjected, I crave your attention while I marshal my thoughts. Let me expound, in response to this entreaty. Fav...

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Funny story: Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

Man Was Wearing Facemask Back-To-Front

A man who was just trying to do the right thing, and protect other people from the possible cross-infection of the Coronavirus, has told how staff and other shoppers laughed at him for wearing his facemask back-to-front. Moys Kenwood, 56, arrived...

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Funny story: Trump Dancing Out Of The White House In A Grass Skirt?

Trump Dancing Out Of The White House In A Grass Skirt?

Many in the fake news world are incorrectly suggesting that Donald J. flipped out during a recent White House news rally. The New York Times published an article chronicling his apparent foot-dragging about the coronavirus before calling for a shutdo...

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Funny story: Filming on new fall series "The Walking Braindead" begins

Filming on new fall series "The Walking Braindead" begins

(Columbus, OH) In spite of the entire film industry being shut down from California to New York due to the worldwide Coronavirus health crisis, filming began in Ohio for a new fall series tentatively named The Walking Braindead. The series will follo...

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Funny story: Clothes shop still going

Clothes shop still going

A local purchaser of clothing, Gary Johnson, is still being sent emails by Menswear Emporium Burton, with 25%, 50%, or 75% off, even though they never have anything in his size. 'Yes,' began Mr Johnson, 'many years ago, when I was a young man abou...

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Funny story: Local Housewife Comforted That Homeowners’ Association Will Support Her in These "Unprecedented Times"

Local Housewife Comforted That Homeowners’ Association Will Support Her in These "Unprecedented Times"

(Carbondale, Illinois) In these times of uncertainty that surround the Coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe, many people feel isolated, with few physical and social links to keep them grounded. To help understand this, we called Illinois resident...

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Funny story: Man Admits He Talks To Himself

Man Admits He Talks To Himself

A man who would not reveal his identity for fear of appearing somewhat strange, has told of how he often talks to himself. Talking to oneself is considered by many people to suggest something eccentric, quirky, or even mad, but our man said he fin...

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Funny story: Condom Sales Are At An All-Time High

Condom Sales Are At An All-Time High

CHICAGO – The Coronavirus has really changed the way a lot of people are doing a lot of things. People are having to shelter-in-place, self-isolate, stay home, hide in the closet, and practice safe-distancing. The Condom Council of North Americ...

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Funny story: Chinese government releases new national flag

Chinese government releases new national flag

In recognition of the excellent economic boost the COVID-19 pandemic has given China, Leader For Life Or Longer, See Imkingpin, has announced a new national flag will immediately replace the Five-Starred Red Flag. Anyone flying the old flag after mid...

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Funny story: Man Stocks Up On Underpants During Shopping Visit

Man Stocks Up On Underpants During Shopping Visit

A man who was making a visit to the supermarket to get some essential groceries for his 83-year-old mam, has responded to claims that he was wasting shopworkers' time yesterday - by purchasing underpants. Staff and customers of the Tesco Superstor...

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Funny story: Vegans Ecstatic as COVID-19 Does What Decades of Protesting Could Not Accomplish

Vegans Ecstatic as COVID-19 Does What Decades of Protesting Could Not Accomplish

(Worthington, Minnesota) Vegans around the country joyously celebrated today as JBS, the world’s largest producer of certified dolphin-free beef and heart-healthy pork and pork by-products, shuttered its largest production facility in the U.S. this w...

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