Funny story: Governor Andrew Cuomo Pulling The African Queen Up The Hudson

Governor Andrew Cuomo Pulling The African Queen Up The Hudson

While watching Governor Andrew Cuomo read the latest statistics relating to the coronavirus on Mother’s Day, Cuomo resembled Humphrey Bogart dragging the African Queen boat, up the Ruki River, to Lake Albert, Uganda, in the film The African Queen.

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Funny story: The Clearest Message

The Clearest Message

Communities Secretary, Robert Jenrick, (nope not a clue either), has defended the government's slightly changed Coronavirus message, saying: "It couldn’t be clearer if it was a clear glass of smooth, sparkling Somerset water. "Moving on from th...

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Funny story: Non-Binary Kitten Pushing Boundaries in ‘Bama

Non-Binary Kitten Pushing Boundaries in ‘Bama

A six-week-old kitten is pushing gender boundaries in conservative Huntsville, Alabama, maintaining the name given her shortly after birth, before her sex had been determined, even after it was revealed that "Johnny” – named for recently deceased leg...

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Funny story: The Pied Piper of The Potomac Disbands The Coronavirus Task Force, Then Unbands It, Then Disbands It Yet Again

The Pied Piper of The Potomac Disbands The Coronavirus Task Force, Then Unbands It, Then Disbands It Yet Again

WASHINGTON, D.C. – POTUS really had the White House news media jumping as he showed them an exercise in Ficklism 101. "The Pied Piper of The Potomac" said emphatically that the Coronavirus Task Force was over, and that it had left the building, ju...

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Funny story: President Trump’s Favorite Publication, The National Enquirer, is in a Financial Mess and Asks the President for a Bailout

President Trump’s Favorite Publication, The National Enquirer, is in a Financial Mess and Asks the President for a Bailout

LANTANA, Florida – The Chief Executive Editor of the infamous supermarket tabloid, the National Enquirer is pleading with his BFF, the president, to provide him with a government bailout. David Pecker, 68, is asking the commander-in-chief for $38...

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Funny story: President Obama Finally Criticizes President Trump and It Ain’t Pretty

President Obama Finally Criticizes President Trump and It Ain’t Pretty

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Obama says that he has been very patient when it comes to the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey clown that resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. The two-term president, that polls show, has surpassed the Beatles, E...

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Funny story: Dr. Anthony Fauci, One of President Trump’s Closest Staff Members, Must Now Self-Quarantine for 14 Days

Dr. Anthony Fauci, One of President Trump’s Closest Staff Members, Must Now Self-Quarantine for 14 Days

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a shocking development, President Trump has just learned that one of his press conference/campaign pep rally co-hosts, has just gone into quarantine for the Coronavirus. Dr. Anthony "The Straight Shooter" Fauci, the director...

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Funny story: Ivanka Trump's Personal Vagazelizer Tests Positive

Ivanka Trump's Personal Vagazelizer Tests Positive

Ivanka Trump's personal Vagazelizer today tested positive for Covid-19. The President's little temptress was furious to find out that someone servicing her so personally had contracted a disease. Ivanka Trump was not available for comment, but sou...

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Funny story: Jilted John Single Out On May 22

Jilted John Single Out On May 22

Jilted John, the man who ruled the music world with his 1978 hit single, 'Jilted John', through which he relentlessly told listeners "Gordon is a moron", has the song re-released on May 22 - the artist's 61st birthday - with slightly different lyric...

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and...

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Funny story: White House Runs Out Of Toilet Paper

White House Runs Out Of Toilet Paper

President Donald Trump declared a national emergency when he found out the White House had run completely out of toilet paper. He made the discovery when he was on the crapper performing a bowel movement. He ended up using the shower curtain to wip...

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Funny story: Elmer Smuckmeister Strikes Again

Elmer Smuckmeister Strikes Again

BILLINGSGATE POST: Elmer Smuckmeister was not your typical 80-year-old geezer. He was born at night, but not last night. Over the years, he hadn’t had much luck in his love life. There wasn’t much to choose from in his hometown of Beaver Crossing,...

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