Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional

Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 10 May 2020

image for Manchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional
Maguire wondering which path to take

Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and football grounds once more.

Maguire, 27, who made his £80million move from Leicester City last summer, has been oddly silent during the lockdown, but he broke free of his shackles yesterday, pleading with the government to "see sense", and to allow people to make up their own minds about their confinement.

He said:

"I think it's a bit of a cheek, to be honest. I mean, I know that, on one hand, if we go back to 'mingling', a lot of people are going to start getting sick, but there's also people's personal freedom to think about.

"And I understand that the hospitals will become overwhelmed with people thinking they've got Covid-19, but, if you keep everyone couped up in their homes for much longer, they're going to suffer even more as they become like powder kegs full of anger."

"What's going to happen is one of two things: people are going to get that stage where they are so frustrated and irritable, that they are going to come out onto the streets and take the law into their own hands, and start stealing from shops and each other, potentially with violence, possibly even attempting to overthrow the government in scenes of unprecedented civil strife, and altering the whole political landscape of our once-great nation; or, they're going to go out of their minds watching old TV shows, whilst nibbling on crusts, and starving to death."

Despite the dilemma, he said, people should be free to think things through themselves, and to come up with whatever solution they feel most comfortable with.

"People are adults, after all. They don't need politicians to order them about and tell them what to do. It's difficult, I know, and I wouldn't want to be a member of the government at this juncture."

United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, understood the England defender's sentiments. He said:

"The lad's fed up. It's been a long break."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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