Ariana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 11 May 2020

image for Ariana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97
Ariana is 26, and she recently told Cowbell Notes Music Magazine that she's been singing since she was 8 weeks old.

FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – The petite singer, Ariana Grande, who has won just about every music award possible, says that she is feeling a bit on the semi-depressed side.

Grande, who stands 5-foot-1-inch tall, told the iRumors News Agency that, since going into the self-isolating mode, she has lost 11 pounds.

The 26-year-old said that she has had to buy a bunch of new dresses, blouses, skirts, a scuba diving suit, and even 13 string bikini panties.

Grande, whose name ironically means big in Italian, says that she has lost her appetite.

She revealed that, lately, for breakfast, she’s been eating three grapes; for lunch, she’ll have one slice of bread with mustard; and, for dinner, she’ll indulge herself, and eat one-third of an avocado.

Grande was asked how her voice was doing. She replied that she's having a little trouble hitting some of the high notes.

When asked which ones, she said the D, the E, and the K.

She also mentioned that she is battling hypoglycemia, PTSD, IUD, and athlete’s foot on her left foot.

Ariana, who has had Top 40 hits with “Bang Bang”, “Side to Side”, and “Crotch to Crotch”, says that since she's been sheltering-in-place, she has donated lots of money to the LGBTQXYZ community.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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