CHICAGO – The city known as the Windy City, the Airline Hub, and the Place Where President Abraham Lincoln Was Conceived, has just revealed some disappointing airline facts.
Most of the large airlines are reporting that they are averaging 7.3 passengers per plane.
The city’s business record keeper revealed that the airlines have been hit real hard, and are groaning and moaning about needing a monetary bailout.
Airline representative, Fiona Mantooth, said that, if the airlines do not get the entire amount of money they want, they will shut down all air travel between the Left Coast and the Right Coast.
When asked how much money they wanted, Mantooth said, “Well, I’ve put my Sharpie to the paper, and we need to have $717 billion, but we can probably squeeze by with $713 billion.
When President Trump heard their asking amount he said, “The hell with those colluded losers. I will sign a presidential order stating that travelers must either travel from New York City to Los Angeles by car, bus, ship, motorcycle, or skateboard."
POTUS then said that the airlines will get a bailout when Betty White gives birth to twin baby boys.