A 97-Year-Old Great-Great-Grandmother is Arrested for Making Coronavirus Masks Out of Her Granny Panties

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 24 May 2020

image for A 97-Year-Old Great-Great-Grandmother is Arrested for Making Coronavirus Masks Out of Her Granny Panties
97-Year-old Minnie Faye says that this is her favorite hat, and she's worn it everyday since January 1.

TOAD SUCK, Arkansas – The local television station reported that police received a call about a very unusual situation.

A police officer with the Toad Suck Police Department paid a visit to 97-year-old retired seamstress, Minnie Faye Titlaufer.

It appears that one of her neighbors turned Minnie Faye in, for sewing Coronavirus medical masks made out of hundreds of her old size 22, used granny panties.

Titlaufer told TSPD Officer Sinclair Flagstaff, that she was just trying to raise money to get braces for her dog, Sylvester, and her parrot Sacajawea.

The officer checked the dog’s teeth and the parrot’s teeth, and he definitely saw that both of them had a pronounced overbite.

Flagstaff felt sorry for Mrs. Titlaufer, who was wearing empty Kleenex boxes for shoes, and a necklace made out of ring tabs.

She asked him if he was going to arrest her. He said that legally he had to, but he told her he would release her immediately on her own personal recognizance.

Flagstaff asked her how much she sells the masks for, and how many she had on hand. Minnie Fay replied “$4 each.” And added that she had 17 masks.

Officer Flagstaff took out his checkbook, and wrote her out a check for $500.

Minnie Faye was extremely grateful. And with tears welling up in her eyes, she offered him a bite out of her tuna fish sandwich.

"Thank you sweetie. I'm good."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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