Of Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask

Written by K.C. Bell

Friday, 8 May 2020

image for Of Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask
"Will this be okay?"

Place after place that Donald Trump has visited, he fails to wear a mask. Few people question, Why? Others silently mumble to one another and snicker to themselves.

Silly, if Donald Trump were to wear a mask, just imagine what would happen to his pompadour? Chaos! And then there’s the broom-cut ducktail in the back of his head. And you can’t forget the faux orange suntan pancake makeup he wears on his face. A mask would make all of that look messy.

Better he should gamble with getting coronavirus. Besides, the gamble makes him look Trump tough and like he's manning up.

“Two, four, six, eight…”

"Stand down."

The best way for Trump to protect himself from the virus without disrupting the hairdo and makeup is if he were to wear a beekeeper’s hat with a veil attachment. Unfortunately, no one would know who was under the beekeeper’s hat and veil, and he could hire a substitute to make his visits outside of the White House.

Steven Colbert does an excellent imitation of Donald Trump. It’s said Be Best can’t tell the difference. And, if he were speaking for Donald Trump, Mr. Colbert would make Trump sound intelligent, and without using Trump’s usual high-heel words.

Alec Baldwin also does a good Trump imitation. but it’s doubtful Trump would ever hire Baldwin. Too much bad water under the bridge.

Panic was reported to have hit the fan when one of Trump’s White House valet's was found to have coronavirus. A member of the US Navy, this person serves as a valet to Trump. It means that the living quarters are contaminated and should be disinfected.

“No one is protecting me,” Trump was heard to have yelled. Where was the Secret Service? Aren’t they supposed to check up on these things?

Like not wearing a condom, if you’re not going to wear a mask or a beekeepers hat and veil, you may just have to go down with the ship. Anyway, Trump said that the virus would go away with the warm weather.

"Two, four, six, eight..."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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