Sheep Object to Being Lumped in with Blindly-Following Americans

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Tuesday, 19 May 2020

image for Sheep Object to Being Lumped in with Blindly-Following Americans
"Baaa!" said one lamb of social distancing.

With some derogatorily categorizing the swathes of Americans paralyzed in blind, terrified acceptance of whatever the mainstream media tells them regarding the threat posed by COVID-19 as "sheeple," actual sheep are objecting to being lumped in with unthinking, barely sentient humans.

“You’d never see us agreeing to not play and have fun and flock together,” noted Shelley, a ewe from Northern Ireland, regarding Americans' unquestioning compliance with draconian measures like lockdowns and strict physical distancing, imposed by the government in response to the coronavirus. “Humans may be duped into not touching each other, but no one would ever be able to pull the wool over our eyes in that way.”

Or, as one lamb put it, “Social distancing? Baaa!”

That being said, an erudite ram in Australia acknowledged at least one commonality between his own species and humans propagandized into consenting to sweeping abridgments of fundamental freedoms – namely, the motives of their herders. Quoting nineteenth-century French author Stendhal, ram Raymond noted, “The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same." He snorted darkly and shook his woolly head. "Humans will see where that assumption leads them.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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