Well-known hacker group, Anonymous, today revealed they had beaten White House cyber security defences, and had taken a copy of Donald Trump"s personal computer. The computer's contents were later published on the internet.
The unusually sparse PC contents consisted of a single Word document and a copy of the Pong Game ping pong game, set to Easy mode. Score to-date, Donald 1, Computer 178.
The Word document contained the following list and associated notes:
1. Ask Melanoma for a head job. If not, call Stormy and offer her ten grand and a Presidential pardon.
2. Election's coming, blame game 1 - Fuck with the Mexican losers again. Accuse their rapists of damaging a piece of the wall.
3. Election's coming, blame game 2 - challenge Zero Obama's birthplace again, or maybe his kids? Stupid people.
4. Coronavirus. Think of something tremendous or bigly to say. If no ideas, ask Ivanka. Otherwise open all businesses tomorrow.
5. Golf. Haven't played for 3 days. Book 2-week holiday starting next week. Tell everyone I'm socially isolating.
6. Better say something very tremendous about global warming. Ask Pence if maybe we put a windmill on the top of the White House.
7. Election's coming - How do I get the black and Hispanic voters to stop hating me? Offer free tortillas and burgers and improved birth control? Check with Jared if we can get a tax break.
8. Gotta kill more of that free trade. Put a tariff on Chinese tourists and make millions and billions. Fire and fury otherwise and I got the red button, me.
9. Gotta get voters to stop liking the Democrats. Can we get Slippery Hilary for anything? Where is Monica Jugsinski these days? Classy tits.
10. Forgotten about fake news. Read the stupid New York Times. Attack losers next press conference. Tremendous idea.