Joe Biden Selects New York Governor Andrew Cuomo For His Vice President

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 3 May 2020

image for Joe Biden Selects New York Governor Andrew Cuomo For His Vice President
"Baloogoos? I'm going to fry their nuts".

Women around the country are protesting Joe Biden’s selection of Mario Cuomo’s son Andrew as his vice president. Women are upset, furious, taking out their pink vagina hats, putting them on, carrying placards and marching in cities across the nation.

The women demanded, “How could Biden have ignored Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Stacey Abrams, and Amy Klobuchar? It was time for a woman vice president, and each of them did better than Biden in all of the debates. Who can forget the Kamala Harris tee shirt ambush?”

Biden defended his selection by saying, “If Andrew Cuomo were Andrea Cuomo instead of Andrew, I would have picked Andrea. But he wasn’t Andrea. He was Andrew, and Andrew was the best pick as my vice president.”

Confused, the women mumbled to one another, asking: What the bee’s wax did Biden just say? Women demanded a better explanation, some even removing their vagina hats.

“Look, in a group of four women and Mario’s son, all great candidates, however, the son of a Mario was the best pick to help beat the baloogoos out of Trump and get Trump out of the White House for the good of the nation and the world. I need the best available co-pilot to win this foot race, and Mario’s son is it.”

“Hey, hey, hey, with all due respect, Joe, please don’t refer to me as, A son of a Mario. You come one full bus stop away from calling me, A son of a bitch! This language will upset my mother and upset me. Now, my former mother-in-law, Ethel Kennedy, always said everything's cool, but I don’t. Capiche?”

“Ethel Kennedy was your mother-in-law? Hot popsicles! We can have the whole Kennedy clan campaigning for us and get that baloogoos out of the White House. I can see the future, and it spells the White House!”

“I respect your understanding of my situation.”

“No more, Mario’s son. You’re going to be the next vice president of the United States. But I loved your father. Everybody loved your father. Is it true Jackie Kennedy had a thing for Mario Cuomo?”

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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