BILLINGSGATE POST: To the casual observer, a lady with two sets of eyebrows should not raise eyebrows. But crack detective, Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler, is not a casual observer.
Au contraire. Dirty is all business and some. Besides squeezing off popcorn farts in his 1957 Studebaker Champion, he never missed a beat. His gaseous discharges, as related by longtime stakeout partner, Slim Everdingle, “left a carbon footprint in his skivvies more lethal than the devastation and the destruction of Pompeii.”
Added Everdingle: “Someday his shorts will be displayed in the Smithsonian.”
Fellow detectives admired him for his stealth. Although some said that his only redeeming quality was refraining from laughing as his partner gagged, he was the first to offer to buy donuts and coffee during stakeouts.
What has this to do with Nancy Poozleosi and her double eyebrows?
BINGO! It was his attention to details that separated him from other professionals.
Detwiler: “When I first saw her, I thought that I was seeing double. Her eyes looked like two piss holes in a snow bank.”
Slim: “Why would anyone piss in a snow bank twice?”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Scatologically speaking, that's what keeps me up nights.”