Overweight Old Guy Who Paints Himself Orange Worried About How He Looks in a Mask

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Friday, 22 May 2020

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Leaked Photo of Embarrassed Washington Official in Mask

Ypsilanti, Michigan - A recent visitor to the Ford manufacturing facility here was reported to be concerned that being seen in a protective mask, as is required by company and state policy to prevent spread of the coronavirus, might ruin his carefully assembled image, and ordered everyone to stop taking pictures of him during the brief time he was inside the facility.

The top official from Washington removed the protective gear, increasing the likelihood that other officials and press members present during the question and answer session might catch any disease he recently acquired, and answered questions from reporters about his tour.

"I have unlimited power over men, viruses and all creatures, so I am never sick, so no need for a mask for me," said the 72-year-old man, who is overweight, wears an absurd blonde pelt on his head, and paints himself orange on a daily basis.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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