There were 378 spoof news stories published in May 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Meghan Markle Says That The Nude Photos of Her Do Look Real But Adds That She Has Never Been to Cancun, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – Meghan Markle, her prince Harry, and Kim Kardashian were vacationing down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Kim’s husband Kanye, could not make it because he had an infected uvula, plus he is allergic to mariachi music. But th...
Read full storyWords to the Wise: Top Ten Lockdown-Era Definitions You Need to Know NOW!
Granted, humans may have stopped evolving, but not language! Ever fluid, in this, the lockdown era, words and phrases have continued to morph and metastasize in ways that would have been nearly impossible to predict only months ago. Don’t be left...
Read full storyTrump Denies French Claims That Coronavirus Was Present In France In November
Donald Trump has refured French scientists' claims that the Coronavirus, initially thought to have originated in China in January, or even December, was present in France as far back ago as November. Trump said that this would not fit in with his...
Read full storyDon Lemon to Brett Kavanaugh: When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
Brett Kavanaugh, Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, appears to have finally learned his lesson from the MeToo Movement. In an interview ostensibly about the constitutional ramifications of Covid19 and the growing concern about the erosi...
Read full storyOf Course Trump Can’t Wear A Mask
Place after place that Donald Trump has visited, he fails to wear a mask. Few people question, Why? Others silently mumble to one another and snicker to themselves. Silly, if Donald Trump were to wear a mask, just imagine what would happen to his...
Read full storyTexas Warns That The Dreaded Chupacabra Could Be Carrying The Coronavirus
AUSTIN – The Guild of Lone Star State Veterinarians has issued an emergency directive regarding the legendary folkloric creature known as La Chupacabra. The name Chupacabra literally means 'goat sucker', and the animal was first spotted in Texas i...
Read full storyTrump Denies The Rumor That He Has A Tattoo of Ivanka
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was sitting at a McDonalds with Scott Baio and Tucker Carlson, and the three were trying to concoct a story about Joe Biden having been born in another country. A reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk asked him about...
Read full storyThe Madonna–Taylor Swift Feud Flares Up
NEW YORK CITY – The Right Coast Revue is reporting that Madonna is at it again. She has just started a feud with America’s darling, Taylor Swift. The 61-year-old singer cannot seem to accept the fact that she has now become as relevant as an 8-tra...
Read full storyElton John Has Taken Up The Trumpet
Sir Elton John, the Godfather of Glam, the Pontiff of the Piano, and the Royal Blower of the Pink Oboe, has said he has been busy during the current lockdown in respect of the Coronavirus, and has written several new songs employing his new musical l...
Read full storyMexico Offers To Lend The USA $900,000
MEXICO CITY – President Andres Manuel Lopez-Obrador, aka “Timmy,” has just informed the United States ambassador that his country is offering to lend the United States $900,000. The president of Mexico stated that his government fully understands...
Read full storyWendy’s Hamburgers Have Drastically Shrunk in Size
DETROIT – The beef shortage has already caused the price of beef to shoot through the roof. One customer at a Wendy’s in Detroit, ordered the Baconator burger. And when he opened his container box, he noticed that the two meats were both the si...
Read full storyTrump Supporter From The Start, Says He's Not So Sure Anymore
A man who says he has supported Donald Trump from the very beginning of his political career, during his election, through the highs, lows, trials, tribulations and impeachment, and even his calamitous handling of the Coronavirus crisis, is now admit...
Read full storyLady Gaga Records A Song About President Trump
NEW YORK CITY – Lady Gaga, who is a singer, an actress, a model, and even a pole dancer on occasion, has just come out of the recording studio. She sat down with Calcutta Cotton of Music Moments Magazine, and said that she truly enjoyed recording...
Read full storyDominic Cummings' Elton John Tribute Band
Prime Minister-in-chief, Dominic Cummings, has spent so long on his political career, that his place in an Elton John Tribute band is now under threat. The band's Manager, Moneybags McGee, said: 'Everyone else in the group knows the songs inside a…
Read full storyKellyanne Conway Denies That Her and Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Are Lovers
WASHINGTON, D.C. – It appears that ever since Kayleigh McEnany came into the White House picture, Kellyanne Conway has been somewhat delegated to the background. One White House insider added that Conway’s main duties, of late, include getting Big...
Read full storyForeman Slams Mike Tyson Comeback Bid
Former world champion heavyweight boxer, Mike Tyson, 53, known as "Iron" Mike Tyson because of his obsession with iron and ironing (he has everything made out of iron in his semi-detached house in Torquay, Devon - even his clothes iron is entirely ma...
Read full story140 Trillion Dollar Stimulus Package
$140 trillion is not a misprint. It is 9am, and you heard it here first. Here’s how it occurred. At a hastily-convened 6am meeting, President Trump told his cabinet that he “realized” when he was twittering at 3am, that, for $10 trillion, we could...
Read full storyMaria Sharapova, One of the Sexiest Female Athletes Ever, is Coming Out of Retirement
CHICAGO – Maria Sharapova, who has 36 career tennis titles under her belt, plus all kinds of world records, has said that she is planning on losing about two pounds, and returning to the court. The 6-foot 2-inch Russian beauty says that she has re...
Read full storyFormer Great Boxing Champ Sugar Ray Leonard Says He Is Planning on Making a Comeback
WILMINGTON, North Carolina – One of the greatest boxers of all-time, Sugar Ray Leonard, has informed the sports media that he will be coming out of retirement. The 63-year-old Sugar Ray, got his nickname from his grandmother, Condosheena Beulah Le...
Read full storyMcDonalds To Close All 2,700 Restaurants in China
CHICAGO – The McDonalds Corporation has just announced a decision that will not only resonate throughout China, but throughout San Francisco as well. After several power meetings, McDonalds has decided to close all of its restaurants in China.
Read full storyThe Trumps Talk About Killing Elephants, Pedophilia, and Crazy Nancy
President Trump and his two boys had a very rare meeting to discuss politics last Tuesday. The offspring had an alcoholic drink, and the President, a teetotaler, ordered some fried chicken. Trump earlier had a dinner of two Big Macs, fried chicken...
Read full storyJoe Biden Convincingly Denies Remembering Sexually Assaulting Former Staffer Tara Reade
Breaking a month-long silence, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden formally addressed allegations that he sexually assaulted former Senate aide, Tara Reade, in 1993, convincingly denying that he had any memory of pinning Reade again...
Read full storyDonald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November
Leading Democratic Party politicians are saying that President Donald Trump is so incompetent, that, after he loses the election this November, they plan to keep him on at the White House in a newly-created role as a Human Toilet Brush. Trump has...
Read full storyBillboard Top 10 Music Chart - Sponsored By The Coronavirus
The Coronavirus, COVID-19, that all-pervading nuisance that has entered into every facet of worldwide society on an unprecedented scale, has even left its indelible mark on, of all things, music. As the music-loving sector of the general public st...
Read full storyPope Authorizes Social Distance Baptisms Using Water Pistols
"Over our 2,000-year history, the Church has always adjusted," said Pope Francis, as he announced a major change in baptisms rituals and canonical law to reflect the coronavirus situation. According to the New Testament, Jesus of Nazareth was submer...
Read full storyWhy Does Nancy Poozleosi Have Two Sets Of Eyebrows?
BILLINGSGATE POST: To the casual observer, a lady with two sets of eyebrows should not raise eyebrows. But crack detective, Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler, is not a casual observer. Au contraire. Dirty is all business and some. Besides squeezing...
Read full storyA Hooters Girl in Houston Claims That President Trump Fathered Her Twins
HOUSTON – As if Trump doesn’t have enough things to worry his big old orange head about, now comes this double-barreled revelation. A gorgeously sexy Hooters girl named Tiffany Deutschendorf, 28, is reportedly alleging that the president is the fa...
Read full storyTrump May Be Afraid To Debate Biden
Donald Trump’s bone spurs have reappeared, at least according to Trump’s close friend, Dr. Pierson Stab. The bone spurs kept Trump from being drafted and sent to fight in the Vietnam War. The debilitating nature of the spurs of a then-athletic twenty...
Read full storyPart II: Trump, Conway, Conway, and a Lecture on Truth
In the first part of this piece, I discussed a possible Democratic response to a Republican narrative that asserts that, unlike “Grabby Joe Biden”, Donald Trump has not been accused of sexual misconduct while in public office. The Democratic counter...
Read full storyBiden's Bland Yet Forceful Denial of Sexual Assault Allegations Gives Americans New Hope for Nation
Desperate for a glimpse of a light at the end of the “Trump tunnel,” Americans troubled by the sexual assault allegations made by former Senate aide, Tara Reade, against presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, felt renewed hope for the...
Read full storyUNMASKED: Biden Phone Calls To Cannabis Store Revealed
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an exclusive to the BILLINGSGATE POST, it was revealed today that the CIA, FBI, NSA, The National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency and the Defense Intelligence Agency, all had been monitoring Joe Biden’s phone calls from the base...
Read full storyJoe Biden Says That Tara Sara is an Even Bigger Liar That Old “Grab ‘em By The-You-Know-What” Trump
DOVER, Delaware – Joe Biden said that, if he had a nickel for everytime that someone falsely accused him of being inappropriate, he would probably have over 6,000 nickels. Biden spoke with Tapioca Swizzle of Tittle Tattle Tonight, and commented th...
Read full storyHow To Cope Under Lockdown, with Charles "Turnip" Townshend
Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend, in full Charles Townshend, 2nd Viscount Townshend of Raynham, (born April 18, 1675, Raynham Hall, Norfolk, England—died June 21, 1738, Raynham), Whig statesman who directed British foreign policy from 1721 t...
Read full storyCDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End
Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C…
Read full storyAnn Coulter Hates Trump So Much, She Has Decided To Run as a Third Party Candidate
NEW YORK CITY – Ann Coulter is a perfect example of millions of Republicans who are finally coming around to realize that they made a big mistake by voting for Donald Johnny Trump. Ann, who once thought that Trump hung the moon, now realizes that...
Read full storyKiller kangaroos terrorise Australia
Police in all Australian states and territories are reporting gangs of kangaroos rampaging through major cities, robbing stores and killing people indiscriminately. From Sydney, where wild animals of any sort are rarely seen due to the lack of oxy...
Read full storyTrump Family To Go Into Facemask Production
The Coronavirus, and the new threat of an even more damaging and deadly 'second wave', has given impetus to an idea that has been fomenting in President Donald Trump's ingenious mind for the past few weeks now - facemask production. Never one to l...
Read full storyDanica Patrick Wants To Return To NASCAR
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – Retired NASCAR driver Danica Patrick spoke with Sports Territory Magazine and said that now that NASCAR will be resuming, she wants in. The petite, live-in girlfriend of Green Bay Packers quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, remarked...
Read full storyPolitically Correct Woman (Almost) Uses Pandemic as Excuse Not to Reuse Plastic Bag
In the course of discarding the rinds of a watermelon she'd chopped up for consumption throughout the rest of the week, Polly Parker of Nashville, Tennessee, almost used the COVID-19 pandemic as an excuse not to reuse a several-year-old plastic groce...
Read full storySelf-Taught Epidemiologist Knows What's Good for America
(Torrance, California) The eyes of a nervous and uncertain nation turned towards the West this week, as self-made billionaire, Elon Musk, took to the Internet to express his frustration with his state government’s lockdown orders, to preserve human l...
Read full storyBiden says boiled baby remark too salty for his taste
Presidential nominee-to-be Joe Biden has responded to a columnist's devotion to him over all other candidates, particularly Donald Trump. The Nation's Katha Pollitt recently stated she would support Biden “if he boiled babies and ate them.” Thi...
Read full storyMelania Catches Eric Trump Snapping Photos of Her as She Sat out by The Pool In Her Blue "Be Best" Bikini Swimsuit
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The temperatures hit the 90s, and the First Lady decided to put on her blue "Be Best" bikini swimsuit, and work on her suntan. Melania was sipping on a Diet 7-Up, and eating honey-roasted peanuts, as she lounged by the Olympic-s...
Read full storySpoof Points Now Redeemable In Stores
There was a great amount of excitement from a small amount of people earlier this evening, when it was announced on satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, that the points writers are awarded for writing stories will soon be redeemable for cash values...
Read full storyWuhan Property Prices Take A Dive
It's been a difficult four months for the Chinese city of Wuhan, the center of the Coronavirus outbreak, and every area of business has suffered, including the property market, where prices of houses, condominiums, apartments, and hovels have all tak...
Read full storySheep Object to Being Lumped in with Blindly-Following Americans
With some derogatorily categorizing the swathes of Americans paralyzed in blind, terrified acceptance of whatever the mainstream media tells them regarding the threat posed by COVID-19 as "sheeple," actual sheep are objecting to being lumped in with...
Read full storyBig Erect Cock Is Becoming Flaccid
In news that many will find scarcely believable, it's been reported that a change is afoot at Cerne Abbas, the Dorset village where a giant image of a man with a huge cock and balls dominates a chalk hillside - its penis is starting to droop. Init...
Read full storyElon Musck To New Baby: Get A Job Kid!
Elon Musck and his wife welcomed their first child into the pandemic tired world yesterday. Musck who has had exceedingly little good to say about stay-at-home orders, was not about to let his newborn soften his stance. "She needs to get out on he...
Read full storyDonald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder
Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet a...
Read full storyMost Major Airlines Are Now Averaging 7.3 Passengers Per Plane
CHICAGO – The city known as the Windy City, the Airline Hub, and the Place Where President Abraham Lincoln Was Conceived, has just revealed some disappointing airline facts. Most of the large airlines are reporting that they are averaging 7.3 pass...
Read full storyRecovering Alcoholic Admits to Having Trouble Hearing His Higher Power’s Voice
Despite his devotion to practicing the Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous by seeking through prayer and meditation to improve his conscious contact with God as he understands God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for him and the power to c...
Read full storyManchester United: Harry Maguire Says Lockdown Should Be Optional
Seven weeks into the Coronavirus lockdown, and Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has finally spoken out on the plight of the British public as they writhe and squirm in their homes, fidgeting to get out and into the pubs, shopping centres and...
Read full storyClap Or Die
As the “Clap For Carers” movement gathers pace around the country, many hardcore Brexiteers are worried that it doesn’t go far enough, and are calling on the government to step in and enforce it on those who aren't joining in. Every Thursday even...
Read full storyObscure mad scientist recognised at last
Evolutionary scientist Geoff Murd has finally been recognised with a blue plaque for his work in genetics in the 1920s. Long after Lamarckian evolution had been disproven, Murd decided to try to prove it was actually true by a series of extraordinari...
Read full storyJoe Biden Selects New York Governor Andrew Cuomo For His Vice President
Women around the country are protesting Joe Biden’s selection of Mario Cuomo’s son Andrew as his vice president. Women are upset, furious, taking out their pink vagina hats, putting them on, carrying placards and marching in cities across the nation.
Read full storyHuman resources department institutes epic ass-covering measures in response to pandemic
Essential worker, Ben, was slightly taken aback one morning when he attempted to log on to his work computer and was greeted with a series of statements with which he had to agree before completing log-in. “It said things like, 'I’ve not had a fev...
Read full storyThe NFL Has Decided To Do Away With The Traditional Opening Coin Toss
NEW YORK CITY – The NFL has really been beating the bushes trying to find ways to improve the game, in order to draw back the fans once they get the green light to kick the season off (no pun intended). The NFL Committee on Rules has recommended t...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Reveals That Donald Trump Hit on Her in 1993
WASHINGTON, D.C. – There is something that only a few individuals who know Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are aware of. Pelosi revealed to CNN’s Don Lemon that Donald Trump hit on her back in September of 1993. The 80-year-old Pelosi, with...
Read full storyThe Houston Astros Have Been Invited by President Trump to a Good-Old-Fashioned White House Texas Barbecue
HOUSTON – The President took time off from his busy Coronavirus schedule to fly down to Texas to meet with his all-time favorite baseball team. POTUS hosted the Houston Astros at the White House last year when they won the World Series. He sai...
Read full storyAdvanced Buddhist Walking Meditation Incorporates Chewing Gum
For students comfortable with traditional walking meditation, Nashville meditation center Hurry Up and Sit introduced an advanced version, which also incorporates chewing gum. Like typical walking meditation, walking and chewing gum meditation involv...
Read full storyMan Sheltered From Thunder And Lightning Under Tree
A man who was in the countryside, far from home, when a deluge threatened to soak himself and his family, has revealed he took refuge underneath a tamarind tree - even though this exposed them to the danger of being struck by lightning. Moys Kenwo...
Read full storyBlabbermouth Woman Tells Her Neighbour She's "Been Saying This All Along"
A woman has told her neighbour that, despite all the expert medical Coronavirus advice being despatched on an almost-daily basis to the general public, she doesn't really need it, as it's exactly what she's been saying all along. Janice Frigg, who...
Read full storyApple’s Latest Phone, “Mom’s Apple Pie” is Geared Towards the Woman on-the-Go
NEW YORK CITY – Apple has finally listened to its customers, and will be coming out with a new phone geared to the American woman. The new phone called the “Mom’s Apple Pie” will have the capability of storing over 12 million recipes, 8.3 million...
Read full storyThe Hymie COWVID19 tragedy
Old McDonald’s White Farm - We knew Hymie was special when we brought him in from the fields that warm September, when we were young and shallow fellows. All of us wanted to be the one chosen to eat him. But I was the one who drew the long st...
Read full storyLate-Breaking Progressive News: Sugar Is Bad for You; Government Surveillance Is Necessary to Keep You from Getting Sick; Trump Is Not a Good President.
Providing a progressive perspective on lifestyle and current events, independent news show Common Nonsense recently broke several revelatory stories, beginning with news that certain studies suggest that sugar might not be very good for you. “Cont...
Read full storyCDC Partners with Bayer AG to Disinfect the Woods
Cognizant that months of sheltering in place will have made people especially vulnerable to bacterial hazards, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with Bayer AG, which acquired what used to be Monsanto in June of 2018, to dis...
Read full storyJilted John Single Out On May 22
Jilted John, the man who ruled the music world with his 1978 hit single, 'Jilted John', through which he relentlessly told listeners "Gordon is a moron", has the song re-released on May 22 - the artist's 61st birthday - with slightly different lyric...
Read full storyOklahoma City Residents are Shocked as a Volcano Forms Overnight
OKLAHOMA CITY – Long-time hairstylist, Brucey “Skippy” LaFondue, said that, as he was headed to work at his beauty salon, he noticed smoke coming from a street gutter. As he got closer, he saw that the smoke was coming from a mound of dirt that ha...
Read full storyCOVID-19 Hates Women Leaders, Loves Trump
Scientists all over the world have discovered messages under their microscopes. They are bizarre configurations from the coronavirus. The communications are all the same: We hate women leaders and adore male authoritarians and strongmen. The COV...
Read full storyNashville Man Thinks World Is Upside-Down but Respects that World Doesn't Care What He Thinks
Witnessing comedy clubs implementing contactless temperature-monitoring of guests and people going for their daily jog in face masks, all in the name of curbing the spread of a disease comparable in severity to the flu, Nate Parker of Nashville, Tenn...
Read full storyMcDonalds To Open In White House Grounds
In news that will be, to people all over the US, somewhat unbelievable, it's been announced that McDonalds, the world's most popular fast food chain, and personal favorite of President Donald Trump, has been given the go-ahead to set up an outlet in...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Reveals Details About Her Private White House Visit with President Trump
HOLLYWOOD – Kim Kardashian recently told iRumors reporter Vodka Vermicelli, that she can no longer keep a secret regarding the man who lives at 1900 Pennsylvania Avenue. Kardashian had gone to the White House to see about getting Kanye (West) a si...
Read full storyMan still lost in Ikea
A man who has been missing since the beginning of the lockdown is thought to be still lost in a West Midlands branch of Ikea. Ladies man, Brian Asshat, was just looking for some Billy Bookcases, and some picture frames, but hasn't been seen on the…
Read full storyJulius Caesar Parodies Shakespeare's Most Famous Lines
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Will 'the playwright' Shakespeare got a lot of mileage out of his silly play about me, so, after all these years, I've decided to strike back by parodying Will's most oft-quoted phrases from his plays. A few of these are actually from…
Read full storyOverweight Old Guy Who Paints Himself Orange Worried About How He Looks in a Mask
Ypsilanti, Michigan - A recent visitor to the Ford manufacturing facility here was reported to be concerned that being seen in a protective mask, as is required by company and state policy to prevent spread of the coronavirus, might ruin his carefull…
Read full storyTrump Announces Tremendous Hope For Coronavirus Cure
US President Donald Trump raised the hopes of US citizens yet again, yesterday, with what he called "tremendous positive news" about research into a cure for the deadly coronavirus. "We've been looking at the moon", he told reporters at yesterday'...
Read full storyEnglish Teacher Counted Windows In Condo Across The Road To Alleviate Boredom
An English teacher at a school in Bangkok has revealed how, during lessons with a particularly difficult and unresponsive young child, he became so thoroughly bored, that he regularly counted the number of windows in the condominium opposite. The...
Read full storySocialist Presidential Candidate Admits Stock Market Addiction
Norman Eugene Davidson, ten times candidate for president of the United States on the Socialist Party ticket, admitted today, in an editorial in the Socialist Call, that he has been a closeted stock market enthusiast all his adult life. The Call was…
Read full storyPresident Trump is Furious with Kayleigh McEnany and He’s Threatened to Fire Her
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Kayleigh McEnany’s tenure as the White House press secretary may be coming to an end, and sooner than later. The little “Christmas Elf” went and put her size 6 elf shoe in her size 10 Barbie mouth. During her regular press co...
Read full storyThe Houston Astros Suggest To MLB That The Entire Baseball Season Be Played In Mexico
HOUSTON – Houston Astros team spokespersons, Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa, met with representatives with Major League Baseball, and presented an idea for getting the 2020 baseball season under way. Altuve said that, if something is not done and p...
Read full storyAriana Grande Says That Due to Sheltering in-Place She Has Gone Down in Weight From 108 to 97
FORT WALTON BEACH, Florida – The petite singer, Ariana Grande, who has won just about every music award possible, says that she is feeling a bit on the semi-depressed side. Grande, who stands 5-foot-1-inch tall, told the iRumors News Agency that,...
Read full storyCDC Joins Forces With Mosquito Joe for Targeted Virus Control
As a number of states begin to loosen up their COVID-19 lockdowns, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with extermination service Mosquito Joe to help people rid their backyards of the coronavirus and other pests that could p...
Read full storyTravel Review: Isle of Man
On stepping off the ferry in the quaint port of Douglas, my phone sent me a nice message telling me I was now data roaming. At first I thought that this was because I was in a different country, but it wasn't. It was because I was now in a different...
Read full storyCoronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"
In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...
Read full storyReopen Your Hearts
Professional liar and part time politician, Michael Gove, has stated that “schools are perfectly safe to reopen”, then immediately said “the only way to be safe from the virus is to stay at home”. Which is going to be difficult if the government are...
Read full storyTerminator Films To Be Shown Endlessly, So That People Can Get Used To What The Future Is Going To Be Like
In 1984, when the first 'Terminator' film hit the movie screens, audiences marvelled at the creative ingenuity of the production's makers, and their dark conception of what a worse-than-apocalyptic future might look like. A world in chaos, ruled b...
Read full storyTwitter Fact Check Confirms: Nancy Poozleosi Was Bulgarian Shot Put Champion
BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Looking Glass War, either your reflection was distorted, or worse, you were distorted, and a mirror was redundant. The same with the information disseminated by various propaganda sources. Who would have guessed that CNN...
Read full storyEx-Cowboy Dez Bryant Says That Jerry Jones Better Pay Dak Prescott or Else Dak Will Vamoose
DALLAS – Former Dallas wide receiver, and infamous “Bad Boy”, Dez Bryant, has chimed in on the Jerry Jones – Dak Prescott contract controversy. Many sports reporters say that Dez had the worst attitude of any Dallas Cowboy since the team first cam...
Read full storyTrump's PC hacked
Well-known hacker group, Anonymous, today revealed they had beaten White House cyber security defences, and had taken a copy of Donald Trump"s personal computer. The computer's contents were later published on the internet. The unusually sparse P...
Read full storySpaceX Rocket To Wear A Mask
Cape Canaveral: Not that Elon Musk is trying to make a point with Donald Trump, (Who can?), but the Space X rocket launch was postponed, not because of raindrops, but because the rocket is being fixed with a face mask. Thinking people started ask...
Read full storyMovie Theaters in Texas are the First to Reopen
SAN ANTONIO – The Davy Crockett Movie Theater Multiplex in San Antonio, opened its doors for the first time in weeks. A crowd of movie-goers, estimated to number about 17, quickly filed in. Ruby Jo LaGrange, 24, was the first to go in. She was...
Read full story1980's Rock Group "The Knack" Make Come Back with Remake of My Sharona as My Corona
Mega rock stars of the late 1970s and early 80s, The Knack, are back! Best known for their smash hit, My Sharona, the British rockers are sitting on top of the charts with an updated remake of My Sharona called My Corona. Using the same music with...
Read full storyCOVID-19: Man Panicked After Touching His Face
A man who is completely au fait with every one of the government's anti-Coronavirus precautions, and strictly adheres to them, had a crisis earlier this afternoon, when he unwittingly and inadvertently touched his own face. This was after touching...
Read full storyWriter Who Has Never Been 'Featured Writer' Is Finally 'Featured Writer'
A writer on a satirical news website who complained that he had never featured in the site's 'Featured Writer' slot, finally got his wish tonight, when he was briefly featured as the 'Featured Writer'. Dr. Bill Ingsgate, 81, and holder of twelve d...
Read full storyInsightful Therapist Probes Client's Childhood Memories for Source of Her Neurotic Aversion to Government Surveillance
“Did you have a major privacy violation as a child or teenager, like maybe someone sneaking into your room and reading your diary?” asked therapist Christina Carter, probing for the source of her client’s expressed reservations about the prospect of...
Read full storyMan Feels Reading Some Of The Stories On The Spoof Is A Bit Like Chinese Water Torture
A man who is a frequent visitor to the satirical online news website, TheSpoof.com, has said that, despite being a big fan of the site in the past, reading current material reminds him of what Chinese Water Torture must be like. The man, who can't...
Read full storySweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines
The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...
Read full storyAmericans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad
Many Americans are confused as to what fate awaits them if they become infected with the coronavirus and then recover. Will they be a pariah or superhuman? Hero or social outcast? Gasping for air or immune for life? “If I find out I’ve had it, wi...
Read full storyDr. Fauci Admits to Real Reason for Donning Mask
In what has become a routine and welcome display of honesty and character, Dr. Anthony Fauci, lead member of the Trump Administration's Coronavirus Task Force, admitted that he donned a mask today in public for the first time citing the need for adde...
Read full storyLiverpool FC Remaining Premier League Fixtures May Be Played On FIFA19
The difficult decision about how the Premier League season should come to its conclusion was thrown into further disarray this afternoon, when it was claimed PL executives were giving serious consideration to a suggestion that the critical remaining...
Read full storyA 97-Year-Old Great-Great-Grandmother is Arrested for Making Coronavirus Masks Out of Her Granny Panties
TOAD SUCK, Arkansas – The local television station reported that police received a call about a very unusual situation. A police officer with the Toad Suck Police Department paid a visit to 97-year-old retired seamstress, Minnie Faye Titlaufer.
Read full storyPresident Trump Bans Chinese Fortune Cookies in The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A reliable White House source has said that the President is very upset with Chinese leader Xi Jinping. It seems that POTUS has placed the total blame for the Coronavirus on a supermarket Chinese checker, and the Chinese leader...
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