There were 420 spoof news stories published in January 2023. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
He Who Hesitates Is … A Little Prick
Are you hesitant? Do you say one thing and then stop to think about it, and maybe change your mind? Do you think you have that right? Well, you don’t. When someone tells you to do something, you do it and do NOT question … or else … Do you like wh…
Read full storyUFO or Vagina: Depends on How Horny Your Religion Is
A UFO-shaped cloud frightened and confused people in predominantly Muslim Turkey. They jumped up and down, pointing their fingers, calling on their god. And the bullshit began because it wasn’t really in a UFO shape (that’s just what people with n…
Read full storyThe Mars Robot Landers - Two Groups are Fighting to Name the Next One
Two groups are fighting to name the next U. S. Mars Lander robot. Both have petitions out. Millions of Rap fans of Space Flight want to call the next one the 'Mars Bitch'. They want to give it a real-world name - not some namby-pamby 'Adv…
Read full storyPharaoh Bill’s Down Under to Scare the Kangas and Koalas
Bill Gates is in Australia, and the kangaroos and koalas are scared. Since Bill isn’t just a computer geek anymore – he’s all things to all people – he has gone down under to inject a new type of serum into kangaroos and koala bears to “see how th…
Read full storyMeaning Of Life Uncovered in a Lost Civilization of the Sahara
An archaeological dig going on in the Sahara desert has revealed the Meaning Of Life! Long before the pharaohs, there were vast civilizations living where the Sahara is now, but, of course, they got covered in sand. Now, due to global warming send…
Read full storyNo More Homo, You Godless Sapiens!
The GOP doesn’t like cancelling, unless they come up with a cool idea and do it themselves. Tit for tat: MAGA vs. Antifa. Whatever, but the back-biting must go on. Now, a new commission, led by Ron DeSantis and Marjorie Taylor Greene, has been for…
Read full storyThe Planets Don’t Want to Play with Earth No More
NASA: Strange news coming out of the solar system! All planets, asteroids, comets, and mini black holes are moving AWAY from Earth. Doctor Geekie Von Nerdlinger has stated: “Yes, well, it’s a very odd phenomenon, we’ve never seen anything like…
Read full storyMelania’s Sweater Puppets – Feed Me!
What’s a former First Lady too do when she’s waiting for her hubby to go to prison? Melania Trump has been keeping herself busy in many ways, one of which is making sweater puppets! Melania says: “I like to make the puppets out of my old sweaters…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Thailand Has More Ladyboys Than Any Other Country On Earth
BANGKOK, Thailand - (Satire News) - The QuinniPinni Polling Agency (Asia) has revealed an amazingly amazing fact. A recent poll taken in over 250 Thai cities showed that Thailand has more transgenders (males who are called Ladyboys) than any other…
Read full storyBritney Spears Insists That Her Pussy Is Not Lopsided
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Britney Spears the blonde songstress, who is 41, but looks 39, told a reporter with The Daily Drama, that contrary to what two ex-boyfriends have said, her muffin (aka beaver) is not at all lopsided. Spears told Cindere…
Read full storyHidey Hole Document Disappearance … for All the President’s Men
Are you a former president, or a current one, or maybe you’re a vice president or some kind of person who is given top secret documents, but, by golly, you just don’t know what to do with them. Sure, you read them, but you don’t care what they say…
Read full storyFord Brexit to be announced soon
BRITAIN and FRANCE – (Satire News) – There is a rumor in the automotive industry that the traditional and most popular car model of the past years will make a comeback in a new form. “Actually it's a pretty strong piece of information just waiting…
Read full storyThe old saying goes: Back to the roots!
LONDON, England – (Satire News) – This is exactly what English football needs now. Although the national team is ranked 5th in the International Football Association's ranking list, it did not play well in the World Cup. Who is behind these words…
Read full storyMelania Trump Finally Admits That Donaldo Is Not Barron's Biological Father
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - After keeping it secret for 16 years, the Trumptard's estranged wife, Melania, has finally "admitted" what Ivanka and ONLY Ivanka knew; and that is that her sperm donor father (DJT) is not the biological father of 16-yea…
Read full storyHarry’s Killin’ & Thrillin’
Prince Harry killed 25 Taliban fuckers. Big whoop. That’s 25 fewer asshole to tell women what to do (is that Afghanistan or America I’m writing about?) Hopefully the Taliban are overthrown by all the women and girls they won’t let go to school. First…
Read full storyYour Next Variant May Be in Your Sack
Chlamydia Crabs Scabies Gonorrhea Hepatitis B Herpes HIV HPV Syphilis … what do all these have in common? Besides being meaty, gooey and deeeeelicious! Soon, FizerP (the P is silent) will be constructing new variants in their secret…
Read full storyThe Ron DeSantis 1st Annual All-FEMALE Mud Wrestling
Welcome, mud fans, to the First Annual All-FEMALE – no guys or “other” allowed, Ron DeSantis has created this “sport” and he will not be pissed off by things he doesn’t like and/or understand -- he controls the state, you don’t – don’t like it, move…
Read full storyKim Kardashian Talks About Why She Misses Her Ex-Boyfriend Pete Davidson So Damn Fucking Much
HOLLYWOOD - (Celebrity Satire) - The eldest of the five hot, sexy, RICH Kardashian sisters, (Kim) spoke with Tinsel Town reporter Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle Tonight. Kardashian told the award-winning celeb reporter that she has never missed…
Read full storyScience Finds Orgasms are Good for Back Pain
After making 30 Men and women volunteers do a Scientific experiment - (some of the scientists participated as some of the women were attractive). It has been scientifically proven that frequent Sex is necessary for a man's healthy back. If y…
Read full storyThe Taliban Olympics: Women Only
The Taliban are giving serious thought about entering the next Olympics! Afghanistan hasn’t been in any Olympics since they outlawed jihad as a sport, so this will be an exciting time for the well-governed nation. Strangely, most of the competitor…
Read full storyGlobal Warming - Huge Antarctic Ice Berg Splits Off - Ends up as Icecubes in Australia
Global Warming directly and Indirectly is causing hug icebergs in Antarctica. Recently - according to CCN News - a 'Biggie' berg split off of the Brunt Ice Shelf. It's over 600 square miles - about the size of Greater London (without the pol…
Read full storyDo You See What Bill Sees?
Bill Gates is currently working on another piece of revolutionary technology that we’ll all be wanting sooner than now! An optical microchip of some sort that people will have implanted into their eyeballs – and which will allow Bill (and his budd…
Read full storyHarry & Meghan Pubic Hair Throw Rugs
Harry and Meghan are worried that they won’t have ROYAL MONEY coming in for their entire lives. Instead, they may have to get jobs. Just kidding, they won’t. But they like to keep busy. Harry wrote a book about his worries, possibly called “My Str…
Read full storyAvatar 3 Leaked — The Na'vi Take New York
Los Angeles - A fake journalist for the Hollywood gossip website, The Celebrity Teabagger claims to know several details about Avatar 3, including some shocking details that might put its PG rating in peril. The journalist won't say her source, bu…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Twerking Panties Are Selling Like Peanuts At The Circus
MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - The Watchdog News Agency has just announced that the brand new Miley Cyrus Designer Twerking Panties are the nation's top selling women's underwear. Dylan Fresco with WNA says that according to US Federation of News Age…
Read full storyThe New Disease: Long Obesity - Do You Have It?
Medicine has announced a new disease Long Obesity. They expect to make a lot of money treating it. There has always been Obesity, about 10% of the human raced inherit Obesity genes. Most get obese from years of overeating. Human society h…
Read full storyNew Chatbox App - You Can Talk to Jesus or Hitler
The huge online corporation Amazing has released a Chat App at their Amazing Store - so you can have a realistic phone conversation with Jesus or Hitler. It was developed by one of the amazing engineers. Other artificial personalities will b…
Read full storyBurger King Announces That Their San Francisco Restaurants Will Be Known As Burger Queen
NEW YORK CITY - (Business Satire) - The Burger King Corporation has decided to get with the LGBTQ community and address some of their requests. Press Extra writer Voodoo Dupree writes that a group known as The Northern California LGBTQ Guild For F…
Read full storyU.S. Church of Satan To buy the Manchester United Red Devils
A spokesman for the fast growing Church of Satan said they are proceeding to put in an offer in for the Manchester Red Devils. 'It is a good fit for our business plan of taking over the Earth in Satan's name' - he said. Fans will be cheering Sata…
Read full storyMississippi Says No To French Ticklers
JACKSON, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The Global Source News Agency has informed the news media that the Cotton Boll Weevil state of Mississippi, has voted to ban the importing of French Ticklers. Writer Topeka Joplin, with the GSNA, said that th…
Read full story'BlueTits' British Cold Water Swimming Club - Very Popular during Covid
The BCC reports on a Cold-Water swimming Club - 'BlueTits' - with chapters around Britain. It became very popular during Covid. They have 100,000 members from Canada to Estonia. A spokesman explained the purpose of the Cold-Water bathing to k…
Read full storyPorn Star Who Totally Oozes Sex, Pretzel Garibaldi, Stars In The X-Rated Film "Sex Is Just A 3-Letter Word For Fuck"
HOLLYWOOD - (Porn News) - Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle interviewed the nation's number one porn star, Pretzel Garibaldi, at The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Miss Chipotle noted that Pretz, as she is called by her relatives and landsca…
Read full storyWoman who always bring cake into the office now defined as the office sociopath
Janet, who lost her favourite red mug a while ago is now seen as the office sociopath because she often brings in a homemade cake for the team. The 51-year-old receptionist brings in her favourite walnut and coffee cake on the last Friday of the m…
Read full storyPom-Pom Mishap Ends in Beer Belly Filler
A Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, Anita Bonita, had a pom-pom malfunction, and three people in the front row were hospitalized. “I don’t know what happened – it was in my hand one minute, and hurting people the next. I thought pom-poms were our friends…
Read full storyGlobal Warming Changes in the Next Few Years - The Red Sea turns Yellow, Etc.
Global Warming lead to new algae, plants and animals(including people) taking over the Land and Water - said Dr. Futuro (and his Writer Bot. Lenny). The Black Sea turns White - (high salt content due to evaporation). The Red Sea turns yellow (yel…
Read full storyG. W. Bushwacker Writes the Latest Religious Hit
Religious Times News has reported that not just Trump and Biden have secret documents in their dirty laundry rooms, but older presidents also have a few classified napkins kicking around the tool room, the lounge, the Jacuzzi, the 70s orgy parlour, a…
Read full storyHollywood Sissy Canine Is Named "America's Cutest Transgender Dog"
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Hollywood Hors D'oeuvre's reporter Tahiti Zeppelin reports that the cutest transgender dog in the USA is named Fufi Fondue. Fufi who belongs to female impersonator RuPaul, beat out a group of 69 canines to win the covet…
Read full storyFart Your Way to Riches!
With people around the world willingly carrying tracking devices on their persons (aka, telephones), governments and Bill Gates want to know what else people will happily carry with them wherever they go. And also: how to solve any energy crisis?…
Read full storyA Poll Shows That Fast Food Is Not Really That Fast
CHICAGO - (Fast Food Satire) - A poll that was taken by The QuinniPinni Polling Agency clearly shows that fast foods claim that fast food is fast is not really true. The poll was taken in every state in the nation except for West Virginia. Why not…
Read full storyWielding the Corn Cob Gavel Fer A Merica!
Nancy Pelosi’s gavel has been retired. She was such a good Speaker of the House that many agree that no one can or should wield it after her. This makes even more sense when the world watches how Kevin McCarthy can’t even get elected as Speaker by…
Read full storyWhataburger Introduces Their WhataMargarita!
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Satire News) - The burger giant that was born in Corpus Christi, Texas back in 1950, and now resides in San Antonio, Texas has just introduced it's latest fantabulous menu addition. Whataburger, so named because it takes two…
Read full storyJP Morgan Won't Sleep with the Attorney General Fishes
I needed a bank loan but I didn’t know whether I should go to a bank or to my local mafia boss. The mafia guy was pretty upfront about it. “If youse don’t give me my money back with interest, you’ll be sleeping with the fishes.” I like fish, so…
Read full storyThe All New Christ on a Cracker (or Jesus Cheese)
Catholics the world over are excited by Pope Francis’ new and improved way for his minions to eat their god. Usually, the priest would stick a piece of hard … something (they called it a wafer or a cracker, but who knows with those people, all lie…
Read full storyThe Material Girl Gone Plastic
What have you bastards done with Madonna? She was just here a minute ago. I remember the 80s (title of my upcoming tell-all bio) and Madonna’s tiny little moustache – where’d it go?! I love that moustache. I think you can kinda still see it on the co…
Read full storyNever Trust Anybody Named George
I never trust anybody named George. George Washington was a terrorist insurgent with wooden teeth and an axe behind his back, ready and waiting to kill, kill, KILL! George HW Bush started the First Gulf War to make himself not look like a wimp,…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Designer Ribbed Tampons Are Made For Women With Balls
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is now in the Designer Ribbed Tampons business. The Left Coast Mirror's crack reporter Tequila Tallyho, writes that the bleached blonde, divorcee has gotten all kinds of offers from beer compani…
Read full storyAmerica is 30 Trillion Dollars in Debt - Nutsy Republicans Won't Tax the Rich-Who Don't Pay Any Taxes
The U. S. is set to go bankrupt this January. No Tax Money in the Till. Nothing To Pay the Bills. Since Reagan - the Rich have paid less and less taxes - so now Billionaires like Trump Gets big tax Refunds. Twenty years of Republican Congr…
Read full storyThe Wampyr Comes to the Party
Big Ben rang out the New Year … and a story got quickly buried. There were … things … seen to flutter around the big clock. And around other London landmarks: Parliament, the House of Wax, Sherlock Holmes Cocaine Emporium, Canterbury Cathedral es…
Read full storyElon’s Ego Approaches Trump Level with Latest Idiocy
Everyone has an opinion. But when you’re stinking rich, you get to air your opinion to the world, and the world gets to reply – and you get to ignore their replies and kick them off your Twitter if they say something like “MASTODON IS BETTER THAN Twi…
Read full storyPresident Biden Sends The USS Wyoming Towards North Korea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre has just told the US media that President Biden has sent the Battleship Wyoming to North Korea in an effort to convince North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un to stop playin…
Read full storyWalla Walla Gone with the Woke Winds
Walla Walla Washington, one of the more hilarious cities in America, is changing its name. It wants to be taken seriously. Too many busloads of wall jumpers are being sent from Texas to Walla Walla and laughing their asses off at America. When yo…
Read full story"The Housewives of Tijuana" Wins An Emmy For Best Foreign Reality Show
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Mexico’s #1 reality show, “The Housewives of Tijuana” has just won an Emmy for being The Best Foreign Reality Show. The show’s star Josefina Delores Sanchez Johnson accepted the Emmy from her acting idol, Eva Longoria w…
Read full storyThe Phantom Gets Mask-Blocked
Old Vic London Estonia: A new production of “The Phantom of the Opera” will be opening soon, and tickets are sold out! This is a revamped version of the beloved musical to reflect modern times. The Phantom usually wears a mask to hide his di…
Read full storyAll-New Donald Orange Spray … For a Healthier-Looking Version of Whatever You Are
Donald Trump has now admitted that he uses a spray-on tan for that healthy orange glow. And now you can too! Want to look orange forever? When your actual skin is pasty and cadaver-esque and smells like the crypt, why not give it a good spray…
Read full storyScottish Jihadist May Be Lurking in Pub Washrooms
Reports are flying fast and furious, with no confirmation as to whether they’re true, but is there a radical Muslim cabal of jihadists in … Scotland?! Wha? It’s all speculation so far, but things have been heard, the grapevine is a-buzz, that cer…
Read full storyTed Cruz’s Beard is Missing - $10,000 Reward!
Ted Cruz has lost his beard! Bartenders, waitresses, hookers, coke dealers and cocoanut salesmen in Cancun have been looking for it everywhere. Where was Ted last seen? Which bars and massage parlors did he frequent? Everyone who lives and works…
Read full storyLike A Boomerang, Earth's Core May Have Reversed Direction
Whaaaaat? The earth's core may have reversed direction. Holy Toledo! Is this a wet finger to the breeze guess, or have scientists discovered that the planet's core put its foot on the brake, came to a complete stop, shifted gears, looked out the rear…
Read full storyScreaming Layoffs for Big Stuffed Checks
Big companies need big paychecks, so Apple, Microsoft, Amazon and others are laying off tons of workers. “It’s not us, it’s the recession … it’s a much better excuse than blaming the rich,” said one source who ran screaming from my microphone.
Read full storyDick Cheney Wants Jesus to Have a Gun
Along with all the other Presidents and Vice-Presidents stashing secret documents in their flower gardens, or openly displaying them ion the coffee table for guests to rifle through and photocopy if they wish, Dick Cheney also has documents that he s…
Read full storyPygmy Dwarf Sues NBA For “Height Discrimination”
BILLINGSGATE POST: During the 2022 NBA season, the average height of NBA players was 6’6”, which is 8 inches taller than the US average for males. The average height of a male Pygmy is about 5 feet. The world's shortest people are the Efe of Zaire,…
Read full storyDonald Trump and Elon Musk Are Both Crazy Ass Shitheads
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Karma can be a bitch, and in the case of suck buddies, Donald Trump and Elon Musk, Karma is a fucking bitch. Both fruit salads, as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree calls the butt ball twins, noted that the douche bag…
Read full storyGOP Politicians Give Marjorie Taylor Greene A Brand New Very Fitting Nickname
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Republicans in Congress have given sexpot Marjorie Taylor Greene a brand new fitting nickname. Sen. Otis Ortonbrewster, of Tennessee, said that most of the males in Congress would love to get in MTG's pants a…
Read full storyMan who made the new year's resolution to give up jazz has broken his resolution
Record collector Randy Scroggins told his wife of 47 years that this year was going to be the year where he gave up listening to atonal jazz because it made him look more intellectual and he has already broken his resolution. 'To be fair, it was n…
Read full storyBritish Wine Better than French Wine - The French are Furious
Goodbye France and hello Britain! With Global warming - France will be too Hot to produce wines and might have to move on to Orange Juice. Britain will warm up and will become a top wine producer. But they will have to start wearing berets an…
Read full storyComedy Bootcamp Hurts like a Bad Punchline
I enrolled in comedy boot camp, and it hurt! The Sarge was a jerk, always yelling and spitting when he talked, and forcing us to come up with jokes on the fly. I snuck in a recorder, just in case his abuse got too crazy and I had to sue his ass. H…
Read full storyThe Baldwin 9mm “Guess Again” Gun
Hello, I’m Roscoe Killbaby, head of the National Gun Nuts (NGN), and I am excited to introduce to all our members and freedom-loving, gun-toting nutbars across America to the new Baldwin 9mm! Named after Alec Baldwin, and possibly even endorsed by…
Read full storyCountry Duo Bubba & Bubba Sing The Hits of Miley Cyrus
CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi - (Music Satire) - Yippee-Ki-Yah Magazine writer Buck Yazoo reports that the very popular southern country duo of Bubba & Bubba, have become one of country music's biggest selling artists (literally). The two natives…
Read full storyNew Chinese Fast Food - the Dogburger - At the Jade Dog Restaurant
The Dogburger is exactly what it sounds like. Here in Los Angeles, people are trying the sandwich out of curiosity. Californians are historically adventurous eaters - Remember the 'Donner Pass' event? Anyway, the Jade Dog is a big commercial…
Read full storyKim Jong’s Yummy China Bitch Ice Cream!
North Korean ice cream is coming to the West, and none too soon. Personally made by Kim himself, the ice cream is creamy and delicious and does not contain Ebola or any other virus to destroy those in the West who will always have more freedom tha…
Read full storyDairy Queen Says That Their New Smaller Mall Restaurants Will Be Known As Dairy Princess
FORT WORTH, Texas - (Business Satire) - The Dairy Queen Corporation has just made a fast food decision that will rock the fast food world. The powers-that-be at DQ have announced that their smaller mall restaurants will now be known as Dairy Princ…
Read full storyHome Run in the Holy Land
The Israelis have embraced baseball! Or they’re trying … they’re really trying … Acclaimed American coach, Wally Whackamole, has been flown to the Holy Land (if that’s not irony at its finest) to teach the fine art of the Wrigley Field diamond.
Read full storyTrump The Texting Turdhead Texts That He Won The Election By At Least 2 Billion Votes
MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - Ipso Facto News reports that Donald Trump has just become the most pathologically delusional person in history. The Trumptard, as 99.3% of Democrats refer to him, still believes in his little bitty pea brain t…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene - 'Pussy Power' Will Get her the Vice Presidency
"Sex makes the World go round,” Marjorie is quoted as saying. “I will do anything to become Vice President - anything.” One of Marjorie's Girlfriends told us that Marjorie had said that to her in a long personal conversation. This was after we…
Read full storyArtificial Intelligence Artist Rembrandt Sues Bitcoin Company 'FakeCoin' - For Part of the Profits
FakeCoin has made many millions of dollars off Rembrandt's paintings and prints. (Both personal and advertising sales.) Rembrandt wants part of the profits so he can buy some writing and art Bots for himself. He also wants a Bigger Superco…
Read full storyTelevision is Religion
Brain dead Television viewer Inbred Mind a sewer A lotta bread Buys high class chewers Plug me in Call me pretty I think I win When life is shitty Always grin In the bleeding city Television is a piece of shit All I want is a good hi…
Read full storyThe More Sex - the Better is Your Brain Health - New Study
A recent British study at CCN Online reported the more Sex a man had the better his Brain functioned. British scientists strapped Activity Monitors on the thighs of 4, 500 men and Sex beat out Bicycling as the best activity for Brain Health.
Read full storyGreat Greta Mega Powerful in Only 20 Years
Great is becoming powerful! She can tell school kids around the world to stay home, or worse, to boycott their schools and teachers and NOT DO THEIR HOMEWORK!! Probably the worst crime imaginable. Warmongers, drug dealers, white salve traders, and…
Read full storyBasil Blathering - History in 10 Seconds - Victorian Prostitutes Caused Global Warming
Global Warming started in the 1800's in England. Wealthy Victorian men loved their Prostitutes and there were huge numbers of the female Entrepreneurs in England. The coal - fired textile Mills were booming - so the male mill Workers had ple…
Read full storyDeath to Antifa’s Apple Pie!
Good old-fashion American apple pie is dead – and you’re a scumbag for liking it! Apple pies will no longer be allowed to be made in America, largely due to protests by those who do not like apples and who are enraged that other people demand they…
Read full storyTrumpism Spreads to Brazil - Right Wing 'Brazil Nuts' Riot And Trash Brazil's Capitol
Trump is an infectious Plague, as well as a Person. Brazil had their own Trump - ex - Presidente Bolsonaro - Rich and Corrupt - hacking down the Amazon Forest to make Money. (And maybe to put up Golf courses?) Brazil also has its own Proud B…
Read full storyScotland Yard Finds Traces of Cocaine In Queen Elizabeth's Underwear Drawer
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - (Satire News) - The BBC is reporting that agents from Scotland Yard searched Queen Elizabeth's master royal bedroom and found traces of cocaine in her knickers drawer. Agent Borton Shipshire, 42, said that the value of the trac…
Read full storyMichael Madeup's New Year Message
Hello, Michael Madeup here again, you know me. You must. I say a few things on Twitter. Fairly useless MP for a small city in the middle of nowhere. I have the hair..... Oh, now you know me. Anyway, as I was saying when I supported Boris Johns…
Read full storySuper Dooper Über Uber Alles
Late breaking news which should be of concern to all people who drive in an Uber, especially women. Yes, you’re busy and on the go, go, go, and you don’t have time to raise your hand to flag a cab, and you’re essentially attached to your phone as…
Read full storyThe World is Mad Said the Rabbit to the Queen...
(He continued:)... Humor and Puns can't describe the Mad In - Between. Only Satire can soften the Sordid Truth. Monty Python - showed the Way - Forsooth - Forsooth. The gentle Humor of Yesterday is Alas, out - of - Gear - With…
Read full storyThe Pope's Cardinals - Blood and Mayhem On the Soccer Field
In the latest Papal Playoff - the Latin American squad the Miserere Manglers bloodily beat the pants off the Italian Squad the Blood of Christ Sicilians. These tough Cardinals play real dirty. Winning is all. They play is so hard and des…
Read full storyCocaine Chihuahuas New Way to Smuggle Drugs from Mexico to U.S.
Border Patrol agents recently discovered the latest way to smuggle Cocaine into the U. S. - Chihuahuas. A border patrol agent in El Paso noticed a white substance dripping from a Chihuahua’s rear orifice - picked the Dog up and took a deep Snif…
Read full storyAsk Dr. Billingsgate: “When My Husband Farts, He Blames Our Dog”
BILLINGSGATE POST: Due to the critical acclaim the previous “Ask Dr. Billingsgate” feature received, including mention of a possible Pulitzer Prize, this feature will be continued in today’s edition of the BILLINGSGATE POST. Dear Dr. Billingsgate…
Read full storyEver-Pleasing Sex Robots for Adults not too Far in the Future
The super Computer monster sites Amazing and Giggle are secretly racing to develop Sex Robots and see Big money in them. A Hacker was talking to a Giggle Writer Bot and the Bot innocently spilled the Robotic Beans - so to speak. It seems the…
Read full storyThe Trump From Ipanema
I knew it was just a matter of time. Donald Trump doesn’t just want to own America, he wants the world. The Brazilians are under his control. They cannot think for themselves. They want their own Mar-A-Lago on Ipanema Beach, where the stars come o…
Read full storyBrooklyn Mafioso Salvatore Goombalini Advises Trump To Leave The US Before He Gets His Racist Legs Broken
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - America's top Mafia boss, Sal Goombalini has let the sexual predator (Trump) know in no uncertain terms that he needs to leave America before his broken legs prevent the pussy grabbing bitch from walking. Goombalini make…
Read full storyMaw - Get the Rifle - Them Darn Democrats are Coming for our Cookstove!
The latest Republican Scream of Pain is that the Evil Democrats are going to steal your Gas Cookstove. Most of them are so Rich they don't even know what a Cook Stove looks like. We have a major Crisis with Global Warming. Things have to…
Read full storyGuns and Ammo
Guns and ammo Cunt and camo See and scare Lure and lair Flag and frag Butcher and bag Die and death Bleed and breath Vine and vim Sink and swim Stars and bars Wares and wars Clip and clap Fun and fap Moon an…
Read full storyDr. Strangelove Bombs in North Korea
Kim Jong Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn (Give It To Me, Baby!) is pissed off again because no one’s paying attention to him. He’s tried firing missile at Japan and a couple were pointed in the direction of America, but too far away to hit. He’s fake danced and la…
Read full storyExperts Say An Asteroid Will Hit Mar-a-Lago - Trump Says It's a Just a Bullshit Hoax
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - Asteroid experts have informed the White House that a gigantic asteroid about 17 times bigger than Ginni "Lardass" Thomas' huge butt will hit Mar-a-Lago, Florida in the near future. Members of The North American Solar Sys…
Read full storyA New National Anthem Happy Song to Make Everyone Happy Again
Hello, right-thinking Christian Americans … now that the GOP have a speaker with a mallet to pound and decree crazy shit … everything in the country is fine, just fine … nothing will ever go wrong on the Republican’s watch. Just forget all those pesk…
Read full story'Digging up Britain' - Henry the 8th Chamberpot Found
A BCC online news article mentions a new 12 - series BCC2 archaeology TV program - 'Digging up Britain'. The archaeologist is a hot blonde female in a black tank top and tight pants - (current garb when excavating apparently). First, they di…
Read full storyReversion Therapy Yields Nashville Man Gender Pronouns and Clarity
No stranger to self-reflection, 38-year-old Campbell Jessup of Nashville, Tennessee, reported being stumped when his 17-year-old niece, Candace (she/her), asked him what his "pronouns" were. “I think I fell asleep during that part of English class…
Read full storyHmmmmm, Tom Brady Has Just Purchased An $8.3 Million Mansion In Dallas
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - The rumor floating around Sports Land is that Jerry Jones, owner of The Dallas Cowboys, has reached out to Tampa Bay Buccaneer quarterback Tom Brady. Jones has not tried to hide the fact that he wants Brady to be the Cow…
Read full storyOhio Ocotgenarians Reveal The Secret To Their 60-Year Marriage Is That Have Sexual Intercourse In Their Pool Twice A Day
ELEPHANT BUTT, Ohio - (Satire News) - Abby Yukon, a writer with Hearsay Today, recently visited an elderly couple in their luxurious Elephant Butt, home. The couple are Josh (84) and Begonia (85) Seftonwood. Josh is a retired firefighter and Begon…
Read full storyChanging the Channel on Mass Shootings
There’s been another mass shooting in America … and people are tired of it. Not in any way to do something about it, they just don’t want to hear it anymore. Change the channel, watch Netflix, join a protest … again with the mass shootings! Who…
Read full story