CHICAGO - (Fast Food Satire) - A poll that was taken by The QuinniPinni Polling Agency clearly shows that fast foods claim that fast food is fast is not really true.
The poll was taken in every state in the nation except for West Virginia. Why not in West Virginia? No one seems to know. It's just a mysterious mystery.
Results showed that out of the 2,897,403 people that participated in the poll, which asked if fast food is in fact really that fast, a total of 2,883,591 of the respondents replied "No."
Meanwhile a spokesperson for the McDonalds Corporation, Breezy McInfix, 74, commented that she is proud to say that Mickey D's fast food is faster than any other food franchise's food, with the one possible exception of Chic-Fil-A, who can have a patron's food ready in anywhere from 17 to 42 seconds. ■
