Man who made the new year's resolution to give up jazz has broken his resolution

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 1 January 2023

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Record collector Randy Scroggins told his wife of 47 years that this year was going to be the year where he gave up listening to atonal jazz because it made him look more intellectual and he has already broken his resolution.

'To be fair, it was not really my fault' said the 69-year-old. 'I thought that listening to Radio Three would be fine, but then they played Take Five, and I thought, damn, it won't be this year will it'.

Randy's wife Sandra said 'Honestly, he has said it every year since we met as 18-year-olds, so it is not really a surprise. Besides, Randy is quite a boring man, I mean obviously, I love him, but if he didn't listen to Ornette Coleman for fun, there would be nothing to distinguish him from every other balding, somewhat rotund bloke. It is his personality, or at least what passes as his personality at least.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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