Kim Jong Uuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn (Give It To Me, Baby!) is pissed off again because no one’s paying attention to him. He’s tried firing missile at Japan and a couple were pointed in the direction of America, but too far away to hit. He’s fake danced and laughed and hugged (or dry-humped) his generals (who does this? A five year old … grow up, Kim … poor guy, never had a childhood) in front of rolling cameras … and still, that didn’t sell his might and power.
So now, since he’s been pushed too far, he’s gonna take care of bidness himself.
“Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb” has finally arrived in North Korea. Wow, that’s some slow distribution.
Kim loved it and really loved seeing Slim Pickens ride that missile down to the ground. SO now Kim wants to do the same thing, as soon as he gets a cowboy hat – but he can’t safely leave his own country and no American president (not even Donald) will invite him to the Oval Office, so it may take a while.
Until then, he’s firing up the missile and duct taping some of his warmest and huggiest generals onto the metal death machines to see if they like it and does it look cool?
Alas, none of the generals so far have lived, so they can’t tell their stories, but through Kim’s binoculars, it looked kinda cool.
He’s still thinking about tying himself onto one, and still thinking about blowing up the world just to get noticed.
Little boys will always flex their little muscles to impress other little boys … they have such tiny missiles, don’t they?
