He Who Hesitates Is … A Little Prick

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Sunday, 29 January 2023

image for He Who Hesitates Is … A Little Prick
Daddy Knows Best ... Now Lie Back & Take It, Bitch!

Are you hesitant? Do you say one thing and then stop to think about it, and maybe change your mind? Do you think you have that right? Well, you don’t. When someone tells you to do something, you do it and do NOT question … or else …

Do you like when someone penetrates your body with their phallic object whether you want them to or not? (There was this silly saying in the 1990s: “NO means NO”. It referred to a woman who didn’t want to be raped! Could you imagine such a thing – who doesn’t want to be raped, especially if you lie back and think of England? There’s a viral war on, and you NEED to do your part.)

Sometimes your child doesn’t want to take their medicine, so you FORCE them to. You are a good parent. And we, the 99%, are the children of the 1%, so we need to take our medicine, or the daddies (very few mommies are doing this) of the world will get mad!

And when they get mad, they use their money (something you and I don’t have – a new weapon) to attack us, to forbid us to work here and there, to spend how we wish, to freeze our bank accounts if we say hello to the wrong person or organization – if we exercise our right to be hesitant and maybe even SAY NO!

You want to be a good boy or girl, right? Do what you’re told – they know better and you’re too dumb to think for yourself – you get your info from Twitter instead of listening to the daddies who have experts who tell them what they want to hear, and then revise it so they can tell you the bleached version of the “truth”.

So why not stop being hesitant and make up your mind in the way daddy wants you to, and lie back, honey, [in the words of Pink Floyd] … you may feel a little prick …

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more